feeling unlovable

he's still in love with you

LV

7 months later...

Felix paused halfway down the stairs towards the kitchen as dizziness blurred his vision and had his ears ringing. He took a hold of the the railing, lifting one of his hands towards his forehead as he wiped away sweat that had formed in such a short period.

He shook his head as a voice added to the ringing in his head and he gripped the railing harder as he opened his eyes to see black dots. "Felix!"

Felix's head snapped up at the sound of a soft voice, the fast action causing him to lean forward. Felix felt someone's hand wrapped around his wrist before he was being pulled backwards. He turned around and blinked a few times before his vision cleared to see Emma looking up at him with wide eyes. "Are you okay? I've been trying to call for...for five minutes and you kept shaking your head. Do you have headaches? Are you dizzy? Maybe you should lay in bed today, one day off of not going to work won't hurt you." Emma rambled as she took a hold of Felix's hand, tugging him up towards their bedroom.

Felix nervously chuckled, pushing at Emma's hand and pulled her to his side and towards the kitchen. "Don't worry about me, Emma. I just need coffee."

"You almost fell down the stairs. If I hadn't seen you, you would have a broken neck!"

Felix sighed, "I just need coffee.  I'll be fine."

Felix regretted telling his wife he was fine the minute he was in his office with stacks of papers around him. His hands were starting to sweat, the pen slipping from his hands as he wrote. His handwriting messy as he tried to write in the lines provided on the page. He could barely make out the words on his page as he read it over and over.

The words blurred after an hour, sweating dripping from his eyebrows, down his nose onto his lips, the taste of salt tinging in his mouth. His collar was suffocating him and his blazer felt as if it was shrinking on his body. He dropped his pen and pulled the blazer from his sweating body, throwing it to the side of his office as he buried his face into the palms of his hands. He struggled to find his breath as he desperately searched for it. He sat up, ripping his tie from around his neck and loosening the first button of his shirt.

It helped and he breathed deeply before his head started spinning and he couldn't hear anything other then his strangled breaths. He squeezed his eyes shut before looking up to see nothing else but black. He stood up, looking around frantically as he tried to see anything. Even just a little light.

He stepped forwards, as he lost his breath and the last thing he heard was his loud shout and the sight of bright light before his door burst open.

<><><>

Emma laughed as she lifted Beckie's hand and blew at the wet nail polish. "Did you speak to Marcus?" Beckie randomly brought go.

Emma nodded, "Yeah, I spoke to him his morning. He started apologizing for some reason and then he said he was jealous and angry when he saw me and Felix on that magazine but he said he wouldn't get jealous again because he knows that I'm married—" and that'll he'll wait his turn.

"But that came out seven months ago?"

Emma giggled, "He was to shy to admit he was jealous."

Emma blushed as Beckie giggled, "He's still in love with you."

Emma didn't mind, she was still in love with Marcus. Before she could comment, her cellphone started ringing. She stood up, taking the phone from Pete who was resting on a chair in her bedroom. She pulled the phone to her ear, pressing it between her shoulder and cheek as she blew her nails.

"Hello?"

"Hello, I'm looking for Mrs. Hayden?"

"You're speaking to her."

Emma froze as she heard the person on the other end utter the words she feared she would hear the minute she sent Felix out of that front door to work. The phone fell to her carpeted floor in a loud thud as she gasped. Tears came to her eyes and she looked towards Pete who had stood up from his seat and came to Emma's side. "What's wrong, Emma? You're scaring, Beckie."

Emma looked up at Pete, pulling him into a hug as she sobbed into his shirt, "Felix... he's in the hospital."

<><><>

Felix groaned as he slowly opened his eyes to bright light shining him in the face. His throat was scratchy and he cleared his throat, hoping it would clear up. It didn't. He looked around him to see his mother standing outside of a window while his dad hugging her as he rubbed her back. He looked at them confused and moved to call for them as he raised his hand but froze at the sight of the peg clamped down on one of his fingers.

He looked at his hand confused before he looking up at the sound of his name. He confusion turned into concern as he looked to his side to see Emma holding his hand. Her eyes wide and a big smile on her face as she stood up. Her face was tear stained and her eyes were red from crying. He sat up slowly as she threw her arms around him, laying a kiss on his cheeks and then on his forehead. "I told you not to go to work! God, I'm so glad you're okay. I was worried sick!"

"What happened?" Felix asked as he rubbed Emma's tear stained cheeks.

"I got a call from the hospital saying that my husband was in hospital after passing out at work! I was so worried! They said you weren't responding!"

Felix frowned and sighed, "I thought it would fade but it only got worse."

Emma shook her head before a loud throat clearing brought their attention to the door. Olivia stood at the door and before she could move to hug her son, the doctor ordered all visitors to leave.

Emma pouted, kissing Felix forehead before she exited the room into Olivia's arms. Felix turned to the doctor who started checking his vitals. "How are you feeling?"

"Great. Better then before."

"Are you thirsty?" The doctor asked and Felix nodded his head before he looked up at one of the nurse pushing open the door. He froze at the sight of Aiden whose eye's widened at the sight of his old friend. He slowly made his way towards Felix and handed him the water. Felix hesitatingly took the cup.

"I wanted to inform you first, Mr. Hayden."

"Inform me of what?" Felix said as he eyed Aiden up and down.

"From the tests and scans we've done since you arrived here earlier—"

"Just spit it out." Felix snapped as he looked towards Emma who watched him carefully through the window of the hospital room.

"Mr. Hayden..."

Felix turned to towards doctor, annoyed, "Just tell me straight."

They doctor sighed, "You have stage 2 cancer."

Felix's head snapped towards the doctor as his heart sunk.