feeling unlovable

i thought you'd forget about him

LVIII

Four months later...

Felix looked down at his fifth shot and sighed, licking at the salt on his hand before taking the shot and placing the line into his mouth. He groaned as he rubbed at his temples.

The past four months had been shit. Constant appointments to the doctor to keep refusing treatment. To go home and look Emma in the eye and tell her he was perfectly fine.

In a month they would be married four years and Felix had three more years to have a fall for him. His seven years were almost up. He wasn't getting any close either and it added to the pile of his shitty four months.

His father had been breathing down his back too, he was starting to become weaker and he wanted a grandchild. Something Felix feared he wouldn't be able to grant his parents with his condition.

Everything was slowly crashing down on him and all he could do was drown shots, hoping it would help him forget what was wrong in his life.

Felix looked over his shoulder to see Emma smiling in the crowd of dancing bodies. Beckie danced next to her, Pete's arms around her lovingly and Felix couldn't help the smile that came onto his face as Emma's eyes locked with his. She smiled, making her way towards him in a little dress and heels.

Felix couldn't keep his eyes off of her body and face as she smiled towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck and giggled as Felix looked at his wife wide eyed. She giggled, leaning into him.

Felix sighed, she was drunk.

"Come dance with me."

Felix couldn't say no as Emma took his hand and sent him a flirty smile. He decided not to stop himself. He knew Emma was still in love with Marcus but right in that moment, Felix could tell her attention was on him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and Felix smirked, taking a hold of her waist as he brought her closer towards him. "You're really drunk." Felix told her as he chuckled.

Emma giggled, ignoring him as she swayed to the music of the club they were in. Felix brought her closer to him and smiled as Emma suddenly yawned, placing her head onto his chest as she softly swayed against him. "I think it's time to leave." Felix told her but Emma whined, letting go of him and taking a drink from Pete's hand and handing it over to Felix.

"Drink up."

Felix rose an eyebrow and moved to decline when Emma gave him her famous puppy dog eyes, causing him to sigh and take the drink from her hands as she smiled towards him. She was definitely drunk.

And Felix knew him being drunk could only lead to bad things.

<><><>

An hour had passed and Emma and Felix were again on the dance floor. This time they were both completely drunk, stumbling over their feet as they leaned onto each other so they wouldn't fall.

"Maybe now we should go." Felix slurred out and Emma giggled as if it was the most funniest thing in the world, nodding her head. Felix kept his arm around her waist, pulling her towards the exist.

He had called a driver to pick them up.

<><><>

"Let me take your dress off." Felix said as he saw Emma making her way towards their bed. She yawned, sitting down on the bed and smiled drowsily at Felix as he made his way towards her. He stood in front of her and leaned over her to help her out of it when he fell forward.

Emma gasped from under him and Felix jumped, in a hurry to scramble off of her, scared he had hurt Emma. His eyes locked with hers and she smiled at him, to tired and drunk to notice Felix's lustful gaze. Felix leant down and before Emma could process what was happening, Felix had captured her lips in his.

Felix could taste the alcohol on her lips and her cherry lipgloss. Emma froze, not reacting to his kiss and Felix moved to get up. It was a mistake. He shouldn't of kissed her. But a loud moan left his lips as Emma wrapped her arms around his neck, a hand fisting his hair as she kissed him back.

The kiss intensified before Felix had his hands on Emma's waist, pushing her further up onto the bed. As he broke the kiss, Felix's lips moved to Emma's neck and she gasped, fisting both her hands into his hair. Felix groaned out as Emma wrapped her legs around his waist and Emma moaned as Felix reached her weak spot and she couldn't help moaning out.

"Marcus."

Felix froze on top of his wife, a wave of anger over taking him as he looked down at Emma who had stopped to look up at him. A look of confusion in her face. "Mar—?"

Felix growled angrily, taking a hold of Emma's wrists and placing it above her head. Emma's eyes widened as she saw how angry Felix looked. "Felix! I didn't—"

"I am your husband! And you moan another man's name?!"

"I didn't know— I thought you were—"

"Thought I was Marcus?! After all these years, I thought you'd forget about him and fall for me!"

Emma's eyes widened, "But—"

"No, fucking buts! You're going to show me how much you love me and I'm going to show you how much I love you!"

Emma shook her head as Felix sat up, bringing her with him that she straddled his waist. "Felix, you're drunk—"

Felix leant down, taking Emma's lips into his and he nibbled softly at it, hoping to shut her up. Emma pushed against his chest as he pulled her dress from her body and laid her down into the bed. Emma gasped as she felt him latch his lips onto her neck, his hands taking a hold of her breasts.

She felt tears coming to her eyes and she weakly pushed at his chest, "No! Felix, stop! Please!"

Felix's eyes softened and he moved to get off of her, to tell her he was sorry and didn't know what came over him but all he could think of was Marcus's name coming from her lips and his face hardened.

Emma starting to see stars in her vision as she cried, she could feel the amount of alcohol she drank catching up with her as she pushed at Felix. He was stronger, he was determined and she could only let out a soft cry as she felt Felix latch his lips back onto hers.