feeling unlovable

please, remind him everyday that I loved him, so much

LXXXIV

Felix's hand shook as he twisted the handle of his father's hospital room. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door and made his way towards his father who laid comfortably in a hospital bed. His eyes locked on the small television on the ceiling. Felix made his way towards his father's bed and before he could say anything, his father turned his gaze to him.

"You take care of your mother for me." Bennett's voice was soft.

Felix nodded his head, "I will but you don't stop fighting you, hear me?"

Bennett chuckled, "I might not be very old, Felix but I don't think I can fight."

"And why is that?"

"This cancer had been kicking my ass for years and I don't want to spend the rest of my life fighting cancer."

"I don't want to spend the rest of my life without you."

Bennett chuckled, "I know, son but I'm don't think I'll make it through this one. But I got to know that before this, I would have done everything to be there for you. I hate leaving Damon so young but I don't want him to grow up seeing me like this."

Felix sighed, "They told me it was time for goodbyes."

Bennett smiled, "Yes, what did you come up with while you were out there?"

"Goodbye?"

Bennett turned his head and smiled towards his son, "Well, I'm going to say goodbye to you."

"Dad—"

"You look after your mother and you make sure she never marries again because I'm the only man who will ever look at her. You look after my grandson, he better not emu up like you who sends dick pics and breaks girls hearts." Felix smirked.

"You look after Emma because even though you fucked up with getting her to fall for you, she still cares for your dumbass and you don't take it for granted. And that Marcus kid, I understand why Emma loves him. He's a gentlemen and you don't take him for granted because his raising Marcus to be a happy boy."

Bennett leaned back before he turned to his son again, "And I'm proud of you."

Felix looked down at Bennett confused, "Why?"

"Because you're my son and I'm proud of you?"

Felix rolled his eyes, "Dad—"

"I'm proud that you changed for Emma to fall for you. I'm proud that you gave me such a beautiful grandson. I'm proud that you make your mother so happy. I'm proud that you were able you handle having cancer on your own. I'm proud that you are looking after our business so well and I'm proud—" Felix looked up at the sound of his father's voice breaking and tears filled up Felix's eyes the minute he saw his father struggling to keep back tears.

"I didn't want to cry." Bennett croaked out as he turned to his son, "I wanted to be strong."

Felix shook his head, kissing his father's forehead, "You are so strong. You're my idol."

<><><>

Emma turned to look over her shoulder towards Marcus who kissed her forehead and wiped her tears, "I'm here."

Emma nodded and looked down at Damon before opening the door and making her way into the room, "Buttercup?"

Emma immediately broke down into tears as she threw her arms around Bennett. He chuckled, wiping her tears, "No need for tears, I'm in no pain."

Emma shook her head, "But—"

"Just remember me as I always was."

"But I'm going to miss you." Emma chocked on a sob, "So much."

Bennett chuckled, "I'll miss you too, you're my Buttercup.

Emma giggled through tears before Bennett looked down towards Damon who was sitting on the bed, "Come to grandpa."

"Pa!" Damon said as he crawled towards him and laid his head against Bennett chest as he sucked his thumb.

Bennett looked up at Emma and smiled towards her, "Take care of my wife, Felix's a idiot. He can't do it."

Emma smiled, "I will, I'll do anything you ask."

"Watch over Felix as well, after my wife, his everything to me and he might think his the shit but he needs someone to look after him."

Emma nodded her head, "I'll look after him, always."

Bennett smiled, "I know you will and take of Damon. I might not be there to be grandpa but you make sure he remembers me. I'd like to be remembered."

Emma smiled, "You will be, who can forget you?"

"You made the right choice in choosing Marcus and I thank you for giving Felix five years of your life. I want you to be happy Buttercup, because you're like the daughter I never had. The minute Nicholas handed you over to me to hold you, I knew you would have a place in my heart. Olivia was a little jealous of you." Bennett chuckled and Emma giggled.

"Oh, and tell you father I hate him for coming to see me so late in the hospital. And don't forget to remind him that he broke his promise."

Emma looked towards him confused causing Bennett to smirk, "He promised we'd die together when we were five."

Emma smiled nodding her head and she took a hold of Bennett's hand and laid a soft kiss against his cheek. Bennett smiled before slowly wrapping his arms tighter around Damon, leaning down to softly kiss Damon's head.

Bennett sighed, a small tear falling down his and he chuckled as Emma's hand rose, her thumb sweeping over his cheek to wipe the tear away. Emma bit her lip, watching as Bennett softly rubbed at Damon's back, "I don't want to leave him."

Emma nodded, "I know."

Bennett turned to Emma, "Please, remind him everyday that I loved him, so much. Please, Emma."

Emma nodded rapidly, her lips starting to quiver as Bennett pulled Damon closer to his chest.

<><><>

Emma held Damon tightly in her arms as she rocked him back and forth as he slept. After Emma had came out of the hospital room, she saw her parents had come and they had gone in after her.

After them, it was Olivia's turn before she had called Felix to come in with her because she didn't think she could do it alone.

They'd been in there a while and Emma was starting to worry after the doctor had gone in for his finals check up.

And then Emma heard the dreadful sound she had been trying to avoid all evening. Hoping he'd make it through the night.

She thought she was hearing things before she heard Olivia's cry as the doctor existed the room and Emma felt her heart break at the sight of the heart monitor going into a straight line and Felix catching his mother in his arms as she fell to her knees.

Emma's heart broke, her lips parting as she struggled for breath and her body went numb as she looked towards Felix who was sobbing, holding onto his mother. Her heart broke watching him, watching him lose his composure as he lost the only person he looked up to her. She turned to Marcus who looked at the two shocked, his jaw hanging and eyes tearing before he turned to Emma who was starting to shake.

Marcus immediately pulled her into his arms and Emma looked over her shoulder, seeing Olivia crying into her son's chest had Emma bursting into tears as reality finally hit her.