I won't pick up the trash i threw away again

Chapter-3

"Are you fine?"

"... What would it change if I said I'm not fine?"

"My lady..."

"I'm just joking. I'm alright." I laughed at myself and took out the pin that was holding my hair up.

A feeling of ridicule spread throughout my body. I had dressed up prettily to look good for my fiancé... who returned with another woman.

"I'm fine, so don't worry."

"But..."

"Let's work fast and prepare dinner."

Honestly, I didn't want to do anything. I had the urge to stomp to my room and throw everything down to vent my anger. But my position wouldn't let me do that. My ambiguous position as Philen Williot's fiancée and future duchess held my ankle tightly, and didn't let go, so I had to swallow my bitter feelings and force myself to move ahead.

*****

Misa, who guided the woman to the room, asked me what kind of maid I would like to assign to her.

I contemplated for a while, then ordered Misa to serve her in person. It would be like surveillance. Surveillance to keep her from doing anything stupid. There was nothing important in the Duchess's room right now, but there could be something that she might not know about.

"If you see anything strange, don't hesitate to come and report it to me."

"Yes, my lady." Misa nodded and left, like an elite soldier on a very important mission.

It was cloudy in the afternoon. As if it would rain anytime soon, the sky was filled with dark clouds. When the smell of rain wafted to my nose through the open window, I closed the window.

Because the former Duke and his wife died on a stormy day, my mood remained dampened on rainy days. I couldn't sleep at night when thunderstorms struck, I'd hide under the blanket and tremble. My cries weren't that different from a child's. Misa was the only one who knew about it. It would be shameful to show that side to other people, so I thoroughly hid it.

Though, Philen also knew, back then. I didn't know if he still remembers, but... nevermind, he probably forgot.

After shutting the window and returning to my seat, I began to go through the documents I hadn't checked, in the fuss of meeting Philen. The duchess's work alone wasn't much in a day, but I was really busy with the duke's work, which was supposed to be done by Philen. I was able to come here safely because the competent aides helped me well. I checked the documents carefully and then stamped Duke Williot's seal below.

It had been nine years since the Duke Williot's seal, which should be in the Duke's office, entered my office. At first, people thought that it was bad if I was the one who did it but as time went by, they took it for granted.

Yet, if I made a mistake at least once, they would sneer at me with a knowing look in their eyes and lament. There were also people who pulled their tongues out and pointed their fingers. As a result, I realised, there shouldn't be any mistakes. Everything can't be perfect, but I still have to do my best to make it seem so.

As I was stamping the seal, confirming there was nothing wrong, dinner time was over. As that happened in the morning, I didn't want to face Philen and eat, but I couldn't help it. It wasn't a normal day, but the first day since he returned to the mansion after a long war. I couldn't have lunch together, but it was manners to visit at least for dinner. I pulled the bell and called a maid.

"Did you call me, my lady?" Soon after, the maid came in and bowed.

I asked, tidying my desk without looking at the maid, "How did dinner preparation go?"