Billionaire's Replaced Bride

Chapter 68 : The Feeling of the soul

Christian

I walk towards her silently. The moonlight coming from the horizon is enough for me to see her sitting in the corner of the terrace.

Gathering her legs across her chest and resting her forehead on her knees, she's shaking. I reach close and kneel in front of her. My hands automatically moved up to nuzzle her hair.

"Why do you keep hurting me?" She complains while crying.

I keep silent and let her speak. This is the only way she can feel better.

"I'm not like you. I already said I don't belong in your world. I didn't grow up with money and power like you. For girls like us, our dignity matters the most. I was so proud of myself. So so much. I thought I was a complete version of myself. Independent and strong with no drawbacks. But I just realised, I have already lost my existence," she rants while sobbing.

"You didn't," I tried to hold her.

She lifts her head, and I finally see her swollen face. She doesn't look at me and leans against the wall staring at the sky.

"How many things are left, Christian? Just tell me how many times I'll have to be crushed like this," her voice is firm as she stops crying.

There are more. A lot more.

"I can easily digest that I was sold like property just because you wanted me. But how can I even digest that you killed an innocent soul?" Her voice breaks. "Don't tell me I was the reason behind it too. Don't tell me that I was again the culprit of my sister's agony"

Disgust and anger fill in her words as she tries her best to hold her tears.

"How do you feel after knowing that you got my sister pregnant and dumped her to marry me? How are you going to justify this?"

"I didn't get her pregnant," I finally managed to tell her. Her ruddy eyes fall on me with no reaction. "I wasn't the father of her baby"

"And you want me to trust you? After everything, how can I trust that you're not lying to me, Christian?" She seethes.

Now, I can only sense anger in her voice more than pain.

I knew it.

I just knew it.

That's why I'm keeping the burden to myself. She's not gonna trust me.

"Are the reports fake? What will you say about the signature you did? And are you telling me that my sister cheated on you? Because she can never. I know how much she loved you. And you are the one to chest on her. Now, just to give some shitty clarification you're completely making her a culprit "

She grabs her hair tightly. "It's all my fault. The baby was killed because of me. I know it was because of me"

"Ivanna, for God's sake, stop blaming yourself," I groan, grabbing her face and bringing it closer to me. "It was not because of you, Iv"

"It was," she screams, shoving my hands away. "I know it was because of me"

She immediately stands up, pushing herself away from me. I don't know what's happening to her, why she's behaving like this.

What affected her so much? The agreement or Irene's pregnancy? Maybe, the next one.

"Iv, please trust me. I'm not lying. That was not my child. I had my name there because I didn't have a choice." I confess trying to reach closer to her.

"Why didn't you let that soul live? Just why?" She panicking

"Iv, what's happening to you?" I immediately hold her arms and pull her tightly in my arms holding her against me so she stops panicking. "What happened? I don't think it's only because of all this. Tell me, what is it?"

I hold her face with my other hand and make her look at me.

"Why did you--- " she is still ranting.

"Ivanna!" I scream at the top of my voice so she comes to her senses.

She shudders in my arms and looks at me in disbelief as if she was possessed by something and came out of the stance.

"What's Happening to you?" I ask softly
She pauses, staring at me intensely.

"You don't know how it feels," she whispers.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Death," she is reactionless. Her voice is numb, so is her body. She's just looking at me without blinking and her low whispers are giving shivers down me.

"Death inside you," she whispers again. "You don't know how it feels when a soul dies inside you"

"Ivanna," I exclaim, scanning her face and holding her tightly. She seems too different right now-- just like a lifeless body.

And I can't understand what she's talking about.

"Imagine feeling a soul breathing inside you," she clutches my arms, digging her nails into my skin.
"And suddenly, you get to know the soul won't breathe anymore. You deny believing that it's not inside you-- the dead soul crumbled in your womb"

Her whispers go scary now. I can't feel any emotion in her eyes, nor even in her words. But they were enough to cause goosebumps all over me.

"You can't believe it won't breathe anymore. Even if you know the reality. You still feel it inside you as if the soul has spread inside your body, consuming each corner of it. Finding its own body in you"

She breathes heavily, leaving me utterly speechless.

"Iv," I jerk her. "Are you insane? What are you saying? I can't understand"

Her emotionless eyes well up again as tears start streaming through her cheek.

"I know how it feels," she breaks down, burying herself into my chest.

The last words are enough to freeze me on the spot.

'I KNOW HOW IT FEELS'