Outside The Lines (Interracial Romance)

Chapter 57

Copyright © 2020 Nicole Mckoy

Cecilia P.O.V.

I sat on the couch flipping through channels. My parents wanted me to come out of my room so I finally did even though I've been locked up in there for over a week.

I've been feeling very depressed since finding out my diagnosis. Most mornings I hadn't been able to get out of bed.

Today I finally put on some clothes and came downstairs.

I haven't been eating much either.

I just don't have much of an appetite.

I settled on a movie I didn't really even want to watch. I put the remote down and picked up my cell phone.

I hadn't worked up the nerve to call my exes to discuss that they should get tested. I know I should have done it a week ago but now I felt ready to talk with them.

I decided to call Ryan first.

The phone rang a few times and then he finally answered.

"Hello," he said.

"Hey Ryan. It's Cecilia," I said.

"Well I'm surprised you called. After seeing each other in New York I have to say I was expecting a call sooner than this," he said.

"You were?" I questioned.

"When we saw each other and kissed I still felt something between us... are you saying you didn't feel the same?" Ryan asked.

"Ryan our ship has sailed. I called because you should get tested," I said.

"Tested?" he questioned.

"Yes for STDs," I said quietly.

"Cecilia before my wife let me back in the house she made sure I was tested. Although I'd tested regularly anyway considering the state my marriage was in before it was officially over. I'm clean... but why do you sound so concerned?" Ryan asked.

I was glad he was clean. Hell I wish I were too.

"I just thought it was the responsible thing to do... " I said.

"Well you're good right... because I don't have anything," he said.

"Of course I'm good," I lied.

"Well don't be a stranger. If you ever find yourself in LA give me a call," he said.

"Sure... bye Ryan," I said.

He said bye then I hung up.

I then dialed Scott's number.

The phone rang a few times then he finally answered.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," I said.

"You get the signed papers?" he asked.

"No... you sent the signed papers?" I asked.

"Yeah I sent the signed annulment papers," Scott said.

"Oh... well thanks," I said.

"You're welcome. Is there a reason you're calling me?" he asked.

"Yeah.... I think you should get tested," I said.

"Tested? For?" he questioned.

"For STDs," I said.

"You got something Cecilia?" he asked.

"Why are you asking like you know?" I asked.

"Because I was tested already and recently got a call informing me that I have something," he said.

"So you didn't know before we were ever together?" I asked.

"Cecilia I was tested days before I met you and I was clean... now a few months later I'm positive for HIV. I've never had an STD. You gave me some shit I can't get rid of..." he accused.

"What? I... I-"

"How much of a hoe were you really before we got together?" he asked.

"Excuse me? You're the one who did drugs! You're the one who was fucking your ex behind my back! If anything I caught this from you!" I argued.

"Cecilia you said you were raped before we got together... did that guy use a rubber? Did you know anything about his history?" Scott asked.

I was quiet.

I was so ready to put the blame on Scott completely ignoring that I had been raped by a man I barely knew.

The guy didn't use protection.

"Were you not tested for STDs after that guy raped you?" Scott asked.

"Yes I was tested and checked out. But my doctor said it takes time to be able to detect the virus... Back then it was probably too soon to determine that I had it if I caught it from him," I explained.

"Well you didn't get it from me because like I said I was tested right before we even met and I was clean. Yeah I used drugs but I don't shoot up with needles and I only fuck girls raw who I'm serious with," he said.

"Meaning you've only fucked me and Savannah with out condoms recently right?" I asked.

"Make that only you... she knew I was fucking you and always made me use protection...." He admitted.

"Has she been tested?" I asked.

"Yeah... and she's clean. So like I said. You gave me this shit and now that we're talking I know who you got it from so I guess I can't be too angry with you.... it's not like you even knew right..." he said.

"I'm sorry Scott," I said.

"I'm sorry too. Look I know I wasn't the greatest guy to you and I've done some real fucked up shit I'm not proud of. But you're a good girl Cecilia... I wish we would of met at a time when I could have been a better man... a more deserving man of the love you had for me," he said.

It was nice hearing that from Scott. It made me feel like our whole relationship wasn't in vain or the love I once had for him.

We ended our conversation and I hung up my phone.

I didn't know how to feel....

I guess apart of me felt a bit better knowing Scott didn't give me HIV. But then I felt angry.

I mean a guy I told no to, who forced himself on to me, gave me a disease that couldn't be cured.

Savannah might have been a whore but at least she was a smart whore. She made Scott use condoms.

I should have done the same thing not only to protect him but myself.

This was all so fucked up.

But at least I had a bit of clarity about everything now.

Yes my naïve ways made me trust being alone with Lucas... the guy who raped me. But I wasn't to blame for his rapist behavior.

In that sense I was a victim.

I knew nothing about him really. I had a first name but not a last. I knew one of Deacon's friends was the one to bring Lucas around.

Now instead of feeling sorry for myself and depressed I wanted to find this asshole and have justice served.

He raped me and gave me a disease. He deserved to be locked up or better yet dead.