Outside The Lines (Interracial Romance)

Chapter 70

Copyright © 2020 Nicole Mckoy

Cecilia P.O.V.

He groaned as I pulled away from him. Deacon and I were sitting in my car outside the airport as I was dropping him off. He had a flight to catch back to New York.

It had only been a few hours ago that we shared our first kiss. Now here we were saying goodbye and unable to pull ourselves away from each other.

I like Deacon a lot and would have been interested to see where things could go with us but at the same time I know we can't be together.

Deacon said my excuses wouldn't work but I had one thing he didn't know about that wasn't an excuse. It was a harsh reality. I still haven't told him about me being HIV positive.

It just wasn't the right time.

He's going back to New York anyway and there is no telling when he'll be back in Atlanta.

"I don't want to get on that flight," Deacon said as he pecked my lips.

"You have to," I said as I pecked his lips back.

"I know but I'm going to see how much vacation time I have saved up at work. Then see if I can get some time off to come back here," he said.

"Deacon I don't want to distract you from your job. Go back to New York. Kick ass at work... I'll always be here you don't need to come rushing back to me," I said.

"Cecilia I was serious last night when I said I want you... I want this. Whatever this is... I want us to be an us," he said.

"Deacon," I groan as I rest my head against the headrest.

"Cecilia," Deacon groans in the same tone mocking me.

I playfully reach over and slap his arm.

"Hey it's not nice to abuse a guy wanting to be your boyfriend," he chuckled.

"Deacon this will never work between us," I said.

"Why because of the distance or your father?" he asked as he looked over at me.

I wish it was just that simple. Blaming the distance or my father's disapproval. But it was more than that. It's my health that will be an obstacle for us moving forward.

"Deacon I have had a rocky year this last year. I have been in one bad relationship after another. I just need some time," I said.

"But Cecilia you know me. I am not like those other guys. I won't hurt you," he said as he reached for my hand.

It's not him hurting me that I'm worried about.

If anything I'd be the one to end up hurting him.

"Cecilia I'm going to be honest with you. I don't want to just date you and eventually we just fizzle out. My intention with being with you is for us to build a future together. Be together for the long hall. I'm talking marriage, a house, kids, all that shit," Deacon said.

What Deacon was saying sounded so nice but I can't give him any of that.

"You're my forever... you are who I want to give my last name to," he said.

Deacon slowly kissed my fingertips.

I wanted to cry.

Deacon is pretty much telling me I'm all he wants and he wanted to build a life with me.

If I say yes I would be setting us up for failure. I mean eventually I'll have to tell him my diagnosis.

I wish I didn't have HIV. I wish I could go back before I ever went to college and just start over. I would make wiser decisions for sure.