Outside The Lines (Interracial Romance)

Chapter 73

Copyright © 2020 Nicole Mckoy

Cecilia P.O.V.

When the words left my mouth it felt like I was having an out of body experience.

Did I really just admit to him that I have HIV?

Deacon looked shocked and confused when the words left my mouth.

He moved off me and stood up.

Now he was standing across the room saying nothing.

I was scared.

I bet he thinks differently of me now.

I bet he isn't going to love me anymore.

I sat up and played with my fingers in my hands.

He wasn't even looking at me and I wasn't looking at him either. It was quiet.

A sudden knock at the door startled the both of us.

"Hey you two I put the food on some plates if you are hungry," Jessica called out from outside of the bedroom.

I looked up towards Deacon and he ran his hand over his face.

"We'll be right there. Thank you," I called out.

I stood up and hesitantly walked over to Deacon.

"I know this is shocking and a lot to take in. Believe me it took me a while to accept this was my reality. If you need time to process this I totally understand. If this changes the way you feel for me that would hurt but I would understand that too," I said.

I reached out and pulled Deacon's hands away from his face.

I didn't know what I'd see in his eyes when I did that. I didn't know if he would push me away in anger either.

But as I slowly pulled his hands away from his face my heart broke.

He was crying.

Why was he crying?

"Deacon say something," I said panicked.

I wiped his tears away and he leaned into my touch and did something I didn't expect.

He kissed the inside of my palm.

"Who gave it to you.... was it that prick Scott!" he said dangerously quiet yet slightly angry.

"No it wasn't Scott but I did give it to him," I said.

"What! Who gave it to you that teacher that got you pregnant?" he asked.

"No. Deacon it was Lucas... the guy who raped me," I admitted.

I noticed Deacon's hand ball up into a fist.

I noticed his eyes go dark and he no longer looked sad he looked furious.

"I'm going to kill him!" Deacon said full of rage.

"He's in jail remember," I said.

"This is all my fault. You met him because of me!" Deacon said blaming himself.

"Deacon it's not your fault it's my own fault. You told me not to be anywhere alone with him and I didn't listen. I brought it on myself," I said taking responsibility for what I let happen.

"Don't do that! Don't you dare blame yourself for some sick prick forcing himself on you and giving you an incurable disease," Deacon said as he reached out and cupped my face in his hands.

"I should have kept a closer eye on you... protected you better when you moved here," he said blaming himself.

"Deacon you couldn't have done anything to stop me. I was in a wild and reckless place. No one could tell me nothing," I said.

"But I could have admitted how I felt for you sooner... it might have changed everything. You would have never been in that fucked up relationship with Scott or been raped," Deacon said.

"Maybe not but all of my horrible decisions have helped me grow as a person. Yes I've been hurt and violated. But I'm ok. I promise you I'm a stronger person because of all I've been through," I said with tears now fall down my cheeks.

Deacon quickly wiped my tears away from my cheeks then held the back of my head as he pulled me into a hug.

He doesn't seem to be running away from this news. If anything he seems to be comforting me.

"Are you ok?" he asked as he ran his fingers through my hair.

I lifted my head up and nodded.

"You sure?" he asked as we locked eyes.

"Yes Deacon I am as ok as I will be for having what I have," I said.

"You need to sue that asshole for giving you AIDs. He needs to serve a life sentence for not only hurting you but infecting you," Deacon said.

I buried my head back in his chest as Deacon rubbed my back he also placed a kiss to the top of my head.

"Do you still love me? Do you still want to be with me?" I mumbled into his chest.

"Cecilia look at me," Deacon said.

I lifted my head back up and bit my bottom lip nervously.

"I told you my love is unconditional. Yes this changes a lot about our future but I'm not just going to turn my back on you. We'll figure this out together. I'm in this with you for the long hall you're not alone baby," Deacon said.

It gave me butterflies having him call me baby.

"I love you," I said.

"Good because I love you too," he said.

"I want to be your girlfriend I want us to try being a couple for real Deacon. I'm not perfect and I think I could hurt you more than you'd ever hurt me. But I want to try. I want us to try," I said.

"Ok then lets do it. Lets try. I'm not perfect either Cecilia but I will try my best to be the man you deserve a man worthy of your love. A man you can count on and trust," Deacon said.

Deacon leaned down and captured my lips with his.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as we kissed.

"Can we go eat now? I'm hungry," I said against his lips.

Deacon smiled against my lips then pecked my lips.

"Yeah lets go eat girlfriend," he said.

I smiled like a little kid.

Deacon took my hand in his and opened his bedroom door.

We walked out of his bedroom together and I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Deacon knew everything about me. He still accepts me and loves me even though I have HIV.

I don't know any guy who would stand by a girl with this but I'm glad I have a man willing to be here for me through this and love me regardless.