review by sas -written in dreams

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Reviewed by sasminagurung
For Fallingstars99

Book cover:
I still feel you need to change your cover cause I feel it does no justice to the amazing story you have so far...

As I started reading the first part of the book I was so intrested I loved how you had quotes relating to story in this book

I could relate elle to so many girls out there scared to fall in love but has a fairytale waiting for her in her dreams.

The idea was so innovative, I love how elle talks or introduces people like her biological father aka sperm donor lol.

But the only problem is your use of paragraphs like your not separating into paragraphs and also have spaces like I have in each para

So people get intrested and intrested
I love the story idea and everything just having problem with the paragraphs

It looks too lengthy and tiring if you add everything together.
And in each dialogue please have punctuation and comma

For example
"She is so fat",said a

That's all I have you still need to complete the story I hope you work on this asap

Rate for story 3.5/5 for now

Rate for writing skills:3/5

Use of para punctuation :2/5

Hope you take this positively and keep working i love everything just the para need to be fixed

Love
Arats group

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