Review by: _boho_chick_
For: Choco57
Title: Fireflies
The title is apt for the story, however, I would suggest you to use a more catchy title.
Cover: The cover does no justice to the story and you need to change it.
Description: The description is well and good, but, you could improve it a bit by changing the excerpt that you have added. There are many interesting parts of the story you could use.
Prologue: I think your prologue is more like an author's note and description. The prologue is actually a part of the story, introducing the reader to the protagonist's world. So I would suggest you to either edit it or change the title to Author's Note.
Content: Your story is quite interesting, I'd give you that. The characters are a bit blurry, but adorable nonetheless. The beginning of the story is quite, however, a teenager living on her own is a bit weird.
There are a few grammatical errors.
For example: She drifted off into sleep. should be she drifted off to sleep.
A few sentences are incomplete.
The story is engaging and once you really get into it you wouldn't want to stop.
I think one of the main reasons why your story isn't getting a proper response is because it hasn't been appropriately categorised and also because of your cover.
I hope I could help.
Love,
Stuti.
YOU ARE READING
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