Reviews Corner-on Request

That One Girl (Highly recommended)

Review by Sasmina

Author

_boho_chick_

Cover

The cover is really good and it actually makes people curious to know the story.
However the author name isn't much visible.

Rate:4.5/5

Description

The description actually does no justice to the story.It is really common and might indicate that the writer is not good at her work which is completely not true.

I would suggest the writer to use some dialogues from the book so that the book may sound appealing.

Rate:no rating.

Storyline:

The story is well explained by the mixture of past and present.
The story might sound cliche but due to the presentation and the writing of the writer,it makes the story different,beautiful and intresting.

Review in detail

Prologue

Again the prologue might be the reason why the book is not getting the kind of feedback it needs.

As a picky reader and a aged person I belive that the writing in prologue is too weak.It feels incomplete and there seems to be no feeling.It sounds like forced sentences.

So I highly suggest the writer to either remove it or edit it.

Chapter 1

- First line is a incomplete sentence.
-like all the other girls he had dated?
Informal question.

- I suggest you to merge few sentences.
Eg

But she believed in him with everything she had.

-The right look on his face

On should be replaced with at or in or upon.

- Try not to begin sentences with
"But and And"

Because most of the time they are known as error.

You can begin sentences with but in the following type of sentence.

Example:

"But it doesn't happen in a day or two," he said.

- Because here was the end.

This sentence should either be merged with the previous sentence or because should be replaced with some other word for example Since.

Chapter 2

- The walk home was slow.

Should use was because the word the writer has used is incorrect due to tense.

- staring at the ceiling

At should be replaced with into or towards.

Chapter 3

Use of italics doesn't look proper here and in many other chapters so I'd suggest the writer to use italics in paragraph rather then in some words.

Personal pov

Honestly, I started enjoying and feeling the emotions from chapter 4. It really starts taking off the chapter to new level .

Chapter four proves that the writer has really good skill to write and has the sense of use of vocabulary and words.

The chapters keeps getting better and better from chapter four whether we look at story, writing or anything.

I love how the writer can connect the present and past, really beautiful.

To be honest if you ask me you should work for the first few chapters because I genuinely feel that you can do better.

Lastly you have the potential so keep up the good work and keep updating.

Thank you