Title:The reflection that reflected the other world by sweetclick.
Book cover:
The current cover doesn't matches with the story plus the title isn't so visible.
Rate:2/5
Detail area:
Good job.
Rate 4/5
Story:
The story seems really intresting as there's a lot going on the main lead life and also her mother has so much that she has been hiding.
How there's a mystery of spirit or something out of this world is going around.
Rate:3/5
Personal perpective.
Well I love how you have a stunning story and the prologue was a good start.
But there are so many correction you need to focus on like your sentence and some words don't make sense maybe because its you start don't worry I can help you.
The sentences not making sense doesn't matter at first but as we keep moving to next chapter it gets reader distracted.
Your paragraphs and dialogue needs to be worked on.
Your chapters are too short,each chapter should stop with a something intresting or mysterious
Also your story is great but as we go further it gets confusing on whose the main character plus the writer has forced some scenes too fast.
Before the mother talks to the grandmother she has to see her child doing something strange.
Also she has to think about it then get the sudden feeling of knowing what it maybe .
Then finally she should call the grandmother.
1. Correction of sentence and words needed.
2. Please use capital I.
3. Keep unrelated things to chater in last and focus on the chapter first.
4. Don't explain everything about every person just keep minimum detail about her sister in first chapter.
5. While having breakfast in home you don't have to tell this.
"My sister is there too" it sounds too odd.
6. While having dialogues between two people have space,don't include it all in a paragraph,it looks messy.
7. Write okay this way. Its not okey.
8. Also use this while quoting a dialogue " instead of this '.
9.Paragraphs need to be made shorter.
10. Use of some words are totally wrong.
Overall Rate:2/5
I love to be honest so I said what was wrong hope you don't mind and I'll surely help you with the storyline I have ideas.
Thank you
Sasmina
BINABASA MO ANG
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