Author: Happyharshini
Reviwer: sasminagurung
Genre:kids book
Book cover: I love your bookcover it suits with the title and story.
Bio: IN story detail you should just add details about story
don't add please read or anything else.
If you want to write something make a prologue at the beginning.
Story:I loved the idea of the story.About how the characters wanted to be part of a magic school.
Detail:
You worked hard enough for the story I could see that but there are so many things that need to be improved.
Since its a kid book I think you should have short and sweet lessons.
As I move to next chapter you have long paragraphs that makes people wanna skip the chapter and they could miss out so many things.
mistakes ......
1) you use fullstop and commas unnecessarily
For example from your chapter 1
"If you don't beloved it I can't help it but the selections are nearing.
You used comma infront of but...
Oh....
Here you needed to do these
Oh!
2) Either use italics or bold
Yeah we can use some lines as italics or bold but you are just doing that to words
For example from first chapter
Ofcourse now am believe
3) when your writing from a speaker perspective please keep this at the top of it
(Dhruv's Pov)
4) your some chapters don't get connected right after another chapter
Like chapter 4 should have been when they get to enter the school
And. All of sudden disorder came from nowhere
Sorry but your story is great but as a package you couldnot do better.
I want you to start again ill help.....
This was a average performance and your story is nice so I want you to start again
Sorry but had to keep the points I'm sorry for being harsh but honesty is whatwe prefer....
Love aratsgroup
YOU ARE READING
Reviews Corner-on Request
Random#16 (feb 5)-current rank #17 (jan 30,2016) #20 (jan29,2016) #23 (jan 28,2016) #26 (jan 26,2016) #46 (jan 26,2016) #386 (jan 25,2016) Cover by shrisag So this is review corner of books people requested for.
