Reviews Corner-on Request

Review by @RimshaNadeem

This review is for the book,"Max Valentine and the Calamari Menace."

The writer is @goristheking.

The blurb was good. Catchy, even. However, someone who might not be interested in the science-fiction genre, might skip over it when they start reading the first chapter even though it's a great storyline.

For me, it was dry. At some places, it was confusing, while at the others, it was simple. It also contains typos and other little mistakes here and there. Which I'm sure you made accidentally and not because of the lack of understanding of grammar, punctuation and vocabulary.

It can be a great read if you can try and improve the way the story flows out. The start has to be something that would immediately hook the reader and would compel him or her to not put the device down until it's done with.

Try starting the storyline with Max's thoughts before making his dramatic entry into the training room. You can always take another idea, this is just a suggestion and an example.

Work on making the description well-worded enough for the reader to be able to imagine and picture the place with perfect ease as he or she goes through the words while reading. Your description for the training room's very confusing for me to be able to picture in my mind's eye.

Try not to be vague while the characters speak to each other, especially when you're just starting the story, but don't overload the reader with the entire information either. You don't want to give away everything and lose the reader's interest. They have to discover things as they go on with the story which I'm sure you're aware of.

Other than that, the simplicity of your writing style is great and a lot of people not big on difficult words and complex sentence structure but love to read stories can take a breather while reading your story.

You're awesome, I read your bio and also saw that your stories' main focus is LGBT, including this one. Which is great. That community needs all the support they could get.

I hope you find this review helpful and not rude. I'm sorry if you felt offended or hurt in anyway while reading this. This is my first review so cut me some slack, yeah? (;

Thank you, take care, keep writing and have a fantastic day.

--R

Reviewing for aratsgroup.