Reviews Corner-on Request

Black Girl Letters

Author- BedLoverForever

Reviewer - Fallingstars99

Title-

I'm little confused and intrigued at the same time by the title. Why it is called 'black' girl letters?
Anyways, still it sounds nice but if you could explain about it in excerpt, it would be more nice.

Rating-4/5

Cover-

Your name is missing! Plus there is a vast room for improvement, so yeah try changing it.

Rating- 2/5

Preface-

I can't say much about it since it's not written much there. What ever you wrote is heart touching.

Rating- 4/5

My POV-

The story is about a girl who writes letter for a crush. Every letter tells a new chapter of her life. It's very emotional. And I guess those bullying shown can be connected in many way to others.

Your making of sentences is good. Use of tense and grammar is also nice.

Again, five chapters is not enough for me to say more. You have a long way to go and whatever you are doing is going good!

Rating-4/5

Suggestions-

1) you are writing intentionally in lowercase letters. I really don't know why authors do that but I find it's okay to do so. This is kinda trendy or edgy these days. But many readers (who are grammar najis) don't prefer it.

I won't tell you to capitalize because it's your choice, still give a little warning to your readers by adding a statement before the start of chapters.

2) I feel there is a need of prologue, which can clear the confusion of whom she is writing to, what does she wants and all those superficial things.

3) Be more descriptive about your characters, how her crush looks like, try to explain by her POV.

4) Since your chapter length are small, try to add songs and images in chapters. You can start with a quote to.

5) Your way of writing- I haven't seen something like this. And honestly, I kind of don't feel the flow of words through it. It is like I'm stuttering for each word.

Example- ( I mixed up sentences from your chapter 1)

dear adam,

your girlfriend punched me today,

And i was okay with it.

She called me skinny,

But i didn't mind it a bit,

because you said you like thin girls.

Now if you write like :-

Dear adam,

Your girlfriend punched me today, and I was really okay with it.

She called me skinny but I didn't mind it a bit.

Because you said; you like thin girls.

Noticed the difference?? Middle alignment and italics and combination of sentences. This kind of letters make more impact. But again choice remain your's. Just a suggestion.

6) There are some punctuation errors, go through your chapters again.

Your concept is nice, just work on the presentation a bit more.

All the best. Contact me if you need anymore help.

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star