Her One And Only Wish

66 10 20
                                    


Reviewer - Fallingstars99

Author - sereneserica

Title-

Title is nice, but if you make the letters lowercase it would be more good. Personally I don't like shouty capitals.

Rating - 4/5

Cover-

Doesn't justify the amazing concept you have. So please change it.

Rating -2/5

Preface-

I didn't found any typos or grammatical errors in that and according to me length is also good. You don't need to change it. Remove the doubt you have in your mind because it's perfect.

At end, don't write things like ' I suck at descriptions' .you know, people will find bad things if you call your work bad. It's human nature. Have you seen a great book where author had written it ' my book sucks but still its a best seller so read it' ?

It doesn't look professional. Believe in yourself.

Rating- 4/5

My POV-

I really don't know what to write... Half of the time I was crying reading your book. The concept is so heart touching. It made me cry fountains when Preesha said her prayers. Living without parent is the biggest torture. and having a disability, makes you a curse to the society. I loved every emotion and plot as whole.

I liked descriptions of Mehul and Vidhi too. Everything in your book is so emotional that words got jumbled up in my head.

The best thing about your book is, it's complete non- cliché. I don't remember the last time, I came across the story like yours. It is mesmerizing.

Rating- 5/ 5

Suggestions-

1. Cover - check out our cover shop and request a cover.

2. Title - it should be ' Her One And Only Wish'

3. There is no problem with your vocabulary but while writing description, please stick to one tense.

4. Use of ellipses- you use '.....' Very much. Use of dots is called ellipse. But there should be only three dots, not more no less '...'

Use it only when the character's speech is trailing off. Or she is confused.

5. While writing a dialogue, always use punctuation marks before ending with inverted comma.

6. When you are mingling two dialogues in same sentence, before the character speaks add ',' so that it doesn't look messy.

7. Typos are there, go through the chapter again before posting it.

Example-

"Then why are

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"Then why are ..?" Mehul inquires curiously, patting her head softly as he continues, "don't worry.... And make so many new friends." He assures her.

Now three dialogues in same line make it look a lot messy.

Try adding line here like,

His words were not having affect on her. She kept mum, the tears fell uncontrollably from her eyes.

He smiled at her as he tries to soothe the little girl, " we will give you everything dear, will take care of you and love you always."

No use of '.... 'Cause he is making a promise.

This was just an example, you need to fix more sentences and paragraphs like this only.

Overall rating- 3/5

Best of luck and if you want me to help you with editing, pm me.

Love,
Star.

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