Reviews Corner-on Request

Review by thenameisfoureyes

Happyharshini Creative Pocket #YourStoryIndia

I like the way you had written your poem. Simple, romantic and really really cute. It speaks of unrequited love yet, it wasn't as dramatic as most poems are. It has this refreshing vibe in it which makes the readers hooked to reading it.

It's also modern and fresh. The words you chose were simple yet effective. You were also good in giving description of the guy you were pertaining to in the poem.

In terms of construction, it was really well-written. I can barely point out anything to work on actually.

The only things I can suggest is for you to not overly use commas in between clauses. Yes, you can do that but don't do it much if you can use 'and' and other words especially if it can improve a certain line (I believe i personally commented one example).

Moreover, another suggestion, use periods instead of semi-colons. And you might wanna check on the first stanzas, I'm not sure if it's due to the lack of editing but please maintain the four-lined stanza form.

Your story is well-balanced, harmonious and melodious. And I cannot add more to that I'm afraid.

So there, this is quite short since you had it written well. I hope to hear more from you and read more of your poems.

Thank you for supporting us and in behalf of the aratsgroup,

Yours truly,

thenameisfoureyes