Reviews Corner-on Request

Review by joyouscellyjc

MadMenWearingFedora

Review For Bombay bonhomie

First of all, can I say that as an Indian I loved reading your poem. You sure know your way with words. I liked how you used the name Bombay instead of Mumbai.

Now coming to the poem I like how you use different phrases in order to get the message across. Your words manage to entice the reader, a very poetic way to show the city of Bombay.
"trailing on cusp of false glories and hopeless dreams "in this line you've portrayed Bombay to be somewhat flawed and that is what makes the poem so beautiful from that point.

Though I loved your imagery and how you showed the journey of your quill, I personally would like to read a simple piece written by you, something raw and primal. I want you to write something everyone can easily comprehend but something so deep that it leaves a trace for eternity in the minds of the readers. The poem is quite perfect but could I take the liberty to point out a few errors and ways to improve ~

1)I always advice this. Always edit and revise your work before publishing in order to prevent typos (hapless - hopeless) and to improve the essence of the poem.

2)you could make even and neat stanzas with the same number of lines. This would improve the structure of the poem.

3)though your poem doesn't have a definite rhyming scheme yet you maintain a certain rhythm. I would like you to try your hand at rhyme.

I seriously cannot think of any other flaw. I would like to read more of your works in the future. You're a brilliant poet, keep inspiring. I hope you don't take offence of my views.