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(A/N) If you could only meet ONE of them, who would you choose to meet?

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(Out shopping)

Store Worker: Could Adam Met please report to the front desk?

Adam, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: *Points to a pouty Jack and Ryan sitting next to the desk* I believe they belong to you?

Jack and Ryan, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Adam: I didn't even bring you here with me-

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Jack: Ryan is like a brother to me.

Jack:

Jack: I am now realizing it's probably because he is my brother.

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Ryan: I can't believe how fast you finished that book!

Jack, wiping his lips with a napkin and swallowing the last page: I was hungry.
















Adam, chasing Jack around the apartment: THROW IT UP RIGHT NOW-

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Jack: Who thinks they can fight me and win?!

Adam and Ryan: Literally everyone.

Jack, starting to cry: And they'd be right....

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Jack, wearing his iconic Kiss the Cook apron: Oh, Adam! You're finally home!

Ryan, wearing a chef's hat: We missed you!

Adam:

Jack, wiping down the counter: Dinner's about ready. Come sit down.

Adam: ....... We're going to get kicked out of IKEA again, aren't we?

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Jack: I just thought he needed to listen to common sense and reasonable discourse.

Adam, sighing: Please tell me those aren't the names of your fists.

Jack: My feet. I'm actually more of a kicker.

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Ryan: That's a nice ass shirt.

Adam: Thanks, but I think you should know they're called pants, not "ass shirts".

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(At a restaurant)

Waiter: How old are your kids?

Adam: What? Oh no, actually-

Waiter: Kids eat free.

Adam:

Jack and Ryan:

Adam: Yes, this is my son Ryan and this is my son Jack. They're both nine.

Adam: Aren't they just the sweetest little kiddos you've ever seen?

Jack, under his breath: I'm going to kill you.

Ryan: Wait, so if I'm nine now does that mean I get a lollipop?

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Adam, probably: The longer my hair gets, the more powerful I become.

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Ryan: Penny for your thoughts?

Jack, offended: My thoughts are worth more than a penny!

Adam: They really aren't.

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Jack: Do you think koalas get angry?

Adam: Do I look like National Geographic to you?

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Jack: You love me, right Ryan?

Ryan: Normally I'd say yes without hesitation but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it.

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Adam: *Walks into the room*

Jack and Ryan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH WE'RE BURNINGG!!!!!!!

Adam: What?! Why!?

Jack and Ryan: 'Cause you're our sunshine, b*tch!

Adam:

Jack: *Flips him off*

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Adam: WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT? YOU DIDN'T COME HOME!!

Ryan: I-I was at a party! Smoking weed, I swear!!!!!!!!!

Jack, crying: Don't lie! You were at the LIBRARY, you f*cking nerd!

Adam and Jack: YOU'RE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART!

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Adam: Let's do this *Cracks knuckles*

Jack: Wow, your knuckles are quiet.

Adam: They're polite.

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Jack: Welcome to me ranking every single thing on the planet based on who I like the most.

Jack: Coming in dead f*cking last: me.

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(During a concert)

Ryan, singing Turning Out Pt. ii: I was too worried how we'd end up, I wasn't looking and you grew up. Now I'm-

Jack, from the background: LiGhtNiNg mCQuEeN!

Ryan: -Here writing this dumb song, and I can't even tell you the truth....

Jack: KACHOW!

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Adam: Did you wash the dishes?

Ryan: ...... I thought you wanted to do that?.....

Adam: Haha.... You thought wrong.

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