(A/N) Just because I use Ryan instead of Riley in this chapter doesn't mean that Ryan is his actual name, okay? His name is Riley.
What's your opinion on the name Riley?
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Ryan: Always strive to eat the stars!
Adam: Aren't they too hot?
Jack: Blow on them first, idiot.
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Jack: Do I look nice?
Adam: You look like you're about to light something on fire.
Jack: Perfect.
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Jack: *Comes out of the shadows*
Fans: Jack......?
Jack: *Puts his hat on*
Fans, gasping: JACK THE STINKY RAT?!
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Adam: We can't kill him.
Jack: Pfft, not with that attitude, we can't!
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Ryan: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
Adam: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.
Jack: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat nachos?
Ryan: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.
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(Holiday time)
Jack, trying to flirt with Alba: Oh, look! We're under the mistletoe. You know what that means!
Alba: Jack, that's a piece of cilantro stuck to the floor.
Jack, trying not to cry: O-oh, my mistake...
*Later*
Alba: OH MY GOD, HE WAS TRYING TO FLIRT WITH ME.
Adam: He wasn't doing a very good job, in my opinion.
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(Heimlich Maneuver)
Jack: My brother is choking and I can't save him 'cause I can't type "hymilick manooover" in the youtube search bar quick enough.
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(When they were kids)
Adam: Ry, your goldfish died.
Ryan, crying: What?! What happened to him?
Adam: I ate him.
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Jack, putting his hands over Adam's eyes: Guess who!
Adam: It's either Jack or the cold clammy hands of death.
Jack: It's me!
Adam: Damnit.
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(Whenever Adam visits them at their apartment)
Adam: Hey, how y'all-
Jack: *Snarling and growling noises*
Adam, screaming: AAAHHH!!! GET YOUR F*CKING DOG, B*TCH!
Ryan, petting Jack: He don't bite.
Adam: YES HE DO!
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Jack: Hehe, you'll never know what number my seven is!
Everyone else at the poker table: 😶
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Adam: *Sneezes*
Jack: Oh my God, Adam's dabbing!
Adam: What? No I'm not, I have allergies.
Adam: *Tries to hold it in*
Jack: Ooh, he's gonna do it again. F*cking hit it, bro!
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Ryan: Would you take a bullet for me?
Jack: If I have time to jump in front of a bullet, you have time to move.
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Ryan: Did you know that when you break a bone it typically will heal back stronger than before?
Jack: So, what you're saying is I should break every bone in my body until I become invincible?
Adam: That's not even close to what he said.
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Ryan: *Sees a bee on Adam's arm* Uh oh.
Ryan: *Rolls up newspaper*
Ryan: Hold still, Adam.
Ryan: *Uses the newspaper as a megaphone* THERE'S A F*CKING BEE ON YOU!
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(When Jack was born)
Their Mom: Adam, come over here and say hello to your new brother!
Adam: Do I have to? Can't I just stand here and judge from afar?
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Ryan: *Looking in the mirror while crying*
Ryan: *Poses with peace sign*
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Adam, waking up: Did I die?
Adam: *Sees Ryan* Oh, it's heaven.
Adam: *Turns and sees Jack* Oh no, it's hell.
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YOU ARE READING
AJR Incorrect Quotes
HumorY'all probably already know what Incorrect Quotes are, so just read the book. This is completely random, but idrc.
