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(A/N) What's the saddest AJR song in your opinion? Also, this chapter is kinda short so sorry.

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Murderer: Run if you want to live.

Ryan: *Starts sprinting*

Murderer: Not like towards me though.

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Jack, externally: I DON'T GIVE A F*CK.

Jack, internally: I Give so many f*cks..

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Therapist: And what do we say when life disappoints us?

Jack: Called it.

Therapist: No-

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Adam: I've tried opening my mouth and saying words before, and I've gotta say, I'm not a fan.

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Genie: And for your third wish?

Ryan, slamming down his spoon after finishing his second bowl of ice cream: TAKE A WILD F*CKING GUESS, BUDDY.

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(America's Got Talent)

Howie: So, how long have you been juggling chainsaws?

Jack: Actually, *lights them on fire* this will be my first time.

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Ryan: You know what strength is? Forgiving a person who isn't even sorry.

Adam: Not to be dramatic, but I'd much rather die.

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(Ordering a cake on the phone)

Bakery: What do you want your cake to say?

Jack: *Covers phone* Do we want a talking cake?

Ryan: Obviously.

*Sounds of despair from Adam*

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Jack: -And so then I decided to cut him off by jumping down from the motel roof.

Adam, signing his cast: So, would you say that plan was a success?

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Jack: It's times like these that I wish I listened to what Adam told me.

Alba: Why? What did he say?

Jack: I dunno. I wasn't listening.

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Ryan, playing the kazoo:

Jack: Do you take requests?

Ryan: Sure!

Jack: Stop.

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Adam: Oh, c'mon! I wasn't that drunk last night!

Ryan: You tried to color my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.

Adam, starting to cry: beCAUSE YOU ARE!

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Ryan: *Sleeping in his bed after arguing with Jack and Adam*

Jack and Adam: *Climbing under the covers* Move over.

Ryan: Wha-

Jack and Adam: *Already snuggling with him* We got lonely, so shut up.

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Jack: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?

Adam: I don't know. How tall are you?

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Ryan: Adam, what should we do?

Adam: I don't know.

Jack: But you're the old one!

Adam, frantically screaming: NOT MENTALLY!!

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Ryan: Just be yourself. Say something nice.

Jack: Which one? I can't do both.

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Person: What's the worst decision you've made while drunk?

Ryan: Bold of you to assume I need alcohol to make bad decisions.

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Jack: *Does something stupid and gets hurt*

Adam: After I lovingly nurse you back to health, I'm going to kill you.

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Jack: Beauty is in the eye of whoever's looking at me.

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Adam: Ry, what are you doing?

Ryan: *Awake at 4AM, sitting in front of the fridge eating ice cream from the tub with a fork* My best.

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Jack: Just so you guys know,

Jack: If you see me in a restaurant, and I'm eating salad...

Jack: I have been kidnapped, and I'm trying to signal to you.

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