Random person: Has anyone told you you look like Lil Dicky?
Jack: No, they usually tell me I look like Jack.
Person: Who the f*ck is Jack?
Jack: Me, b*tch-
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(3AM)
Ryan: Why are any of us here, really?
Zoo Security Guard: I'm asking about you, specifically.
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Jack: The eagles won last night.
Person: Oh, did you watch the game?
Jack: *Covered in blood and scratches* What game?
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Adam: Next time any of you see me catching feelings, throw a couch at my head.
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Adam: What should we do now? We have some time to kill.
Jack, worried: w-who would we even kill?
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Jack, on the phone with Ryan: Wait, what?! You're not coming to my tea party?!
Jack: RYAN, I MADE BISCUITS!
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Adam: Listen, we need to talk about-
Jack: The sink was on fire before I even got here.
Adam: What?
Jack: What?
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Adam: Ryan, you don't have the mental strength to caramelize onions.
Ryan: Who's caramelizing onions?!? Did y'all just forget apples exist?!?!
Adam:
Adam: Do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on them?
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Jack, yelling across the gas station parking lot: BUY ME A SODA!
Adam, yelling back: I AIN'T BUYING YOU SH*T!
Adam: *Buys him one anyway*
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Alba: Ugh, I feel like a zombie.
Jack: That explains why you're drop-dead gorgeous.
Alba: ... How long have you been waiting to use that?
Jack, quietly: Five months.
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Random Person: Hey, are you taken?
Adam: Yes, b*tch. Taken for granted.
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Ryan: I got cinnamon rolls for everyone, but I gave them to a homeless lady instead.
Jack: Say sike right now.
Jack: Tell me you're joking. I can't believe you sacrificed my breakfast for some stranger on the street.
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(When they were first starting to street perform)
Person, to Jack: Can you sing some Elton John?
Jack: Literally, the only song I know how to sing is "Old McDonald".
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Ryan: I would like to offer some friendly advice.
Jack: I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!
Ryan: Consider it unfriendly advice, then.
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Adam, smacking bread onto both sides of Jack's head: WHAT ARE YOU?
Jack: A snack~
Adam: nO-
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Adam: I love my brothers. They're really sweet and pretty smart-
Jack and Ryan, bursting through the door: WE ATE A BEETLE.
Adam: I take everything I said back.
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Jack: Damnit.
Ryan, gasping: We don't use that kind of language here!
Adam, from across the room: Ah, f*cking damnit!
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(When they were little)
Their Mom: Alright, new rule. No animals in the house.
Ryan: Wow, mom, you're really just gonna throw Jack out like that?
Jack: *Smacks the back of his head*
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Adam: Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?!
Jack: You told me to satanize the house.
Adam: I said sanitize. I told you to sanitize the house.
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Ryan: This was a bad idea.
Adam: I told you.
Ryan: No you didn't.
Adam: I did, you just didn't listen.
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Jack, reading out loud while writing: Dear Diary,
Jack: My teen angst bullsh*t now has a body count.
Adam: *Spits out his drink*
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Ryan: I'm sorry to tell you this, but you do have a heart and the capacity to feel.
Adam, starting to cry: You take that back.
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Adam, walking into the room: What the f*ck is going on in here?!
Jack, duct taping Ryan to the ceiling: Nothing much. Today's been kind of boring, honestly.
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(A/N) I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, lol.
YOU ARE READING
AJR Incorrect Quotes
HumorY'all probably already know what Incorrect Quotes are, so just read the book. This is completely random, but idrc.
