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(A/N) Would anyone like to be friends? (≧▽≦) (Not a very AJR related question, but I just thought I'd ask, haha)

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Adam: Can you pass me the salt?

Ryan: Huh? The what?

Adam: The salt.

Ryan: HUH?

Adam: *Long suffering sigh*

Adam: The ocean cocaine?

Ryan: Oh, yeah. Sure.

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Jack: I want to tell you guys a joke but I can only remember the punchline.

Adam: Go ahead.

Jack: Tooth-hurty.

Adam and Ryan: When is the best time to go to the dentist?

Jack: You two complete me.

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Jack: I can't stand you!

Adam, sipping his tea: Then sit down.

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Ryan, texting Adam: I accidentally spilled soup on the floor.

Ryan: Does the five second rule apply to soup?

Ryan:

Ryan: Please hurry, it's already been three seconds.

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Jack: Dating tip! Hold the door open for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door to fight other men. Establish dominance!

Adam: How the f*ck did you ever get a girlfriend?

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Flight Attendant: Please make sure all small items are secure.

Adam and Ryan, whispering at Jack: Do you feel safe, bud?

Jack: I'm the same freaking height as you two.

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Adam: Who ate my fries? I'm going to f*cking ki-

Ryan: I did.

Adam: -Kiss you on the cheek and hug you and buy you more fries because you haven't been eating enough.

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(When they were kids)

Their Mom: I know you snuck out last night, Jack Evan Metzger!

Jack's inner voice: Play dumb!

Jack: Who's Jack Evan Metzger?

Jack's inner voice: Not that dumb!

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Adam: Everytime Jack's dog whines, I want to kill it just a little.

*Everyone looks at him, concerned*

Ryan: Okay! I think that's enough Minecraft for today..

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Jack: People say I have a unique way of lighting up a room!

Adam: No, it's called arson, and those people are witnesses.

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Person: You have the chance to do the right thing.

Jack: I love those moments.

Jack: I like to wave at them as they pass by.

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Person: So what do you all do in the band?

Jack: Oh, I'm the lead vocalist but I also play guitar, drums, ukulele, and use the sample machine. And I also write song lyrics.

Ryan: I play keyboard, ukulele, and sing. I also write lyrics and produce.

Adam: I make good life decisions.

Person: That's not really-

Ryan: No, trust us. He's the most important member.

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Adam: We used to think that no girl was good enough for our dear brother Ryan.

Cat: Oh, thank-

Jack: And we still think that.

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Adam: Why are you covered in blood?!

Ryan: It's not mine.

Adam: Is that supposed to make us feel better?

Ryan: Of course.

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Jack: Adam gave me a "get better soon" card.

Ryan: Aw, that's so sweet-

Jack: I'm not sick, he just thought I could do better.

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