First of all I know I said I would have Band-Aid up next and trust me it'll be up by latest Monday! But anyways I was listening to this song and I was intruiged and this story line just appeared in my head and I'm actually really proud of this! (P.S. How did he not win The Voice?!?!??! He's perfect!) Also, thanks so much for 25K I cannot thank you guys enough and I hope you guys like this!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wasted Love.
*
//So I'm not supposed to love you no more
I guess I'm not supposed to care
I held you so close, now I'm holding a ghost
How can love just disappear?
And where does it go when it's over?
I know that it's somewhere out here//
*
Derek closed the door to his apartment, moving quick to try and clean up the mess he had made with the girl. That's it, that's what she was- a girl because he never bothered to find out her name. That was what Derek had become. One night stands were his go to, every night. He wasn't proud of it, it was just something he had become; all because of her.
*
Months ago he had been forced to say goodbye to Bethany. Bethany to him was everything. In the short time he had known her; he had gotten the privilege (or curse) to fall in love with her. He fell in love with everything about her; her personality, her body, her imperfections, everything. But he had forced himself to forget about her, he couldn't be the one holding her back from all those opportunities that were sure to come to her, no, he had to stand back and let her shine, because somebody who really loved another person did what would be best for them, so that was what he was doing. But where was all the love he had for her supposed to go? What about all those times they had teasingly flirted with each other during rehearsals? The jokes? The lingering touches? He knew it just couldn't disappear, but what was he supposed to do?
*
//Has anybody seen all my wasted love?
I've been down every street, no, I won't give up
If I have to die trying to justify, that's how it's gonna be
Has anybody seen all my wasted love?//
*
Because he couldn't have everything, he wasted no time trying to keep busy, to forget about the pain; to forget about her. Every night he started to lose a little bit of himself, every night at the club he became a little more distant. And then they started; all the one night stands. He couldn't keep walking around with a heart full of love for a girl he knew he could never have. Bethany was unreachable, but every girl wasn't.
*
So every one night stand he emptied his heart a little bit, just to feel normal, just to try to forget. But every single time he heard her name or saw a picture of her on Instagram, his heart felt just as heavy. He had wasted so much love, but he never used it on the person he should have.
*
//It's late, I'm drunk and I'm running on empty tonight
Baby, I'm chasing my shadow around
Like smoke cigarettes I inhale these regrets
I can't change what I've become
There's pain and there's glory, but this is my story
I'm asking everyone
Knocking down doors and I'm pounding the pavement
Lie at your mercy, will somebody save me? Save me?//
*
Derek stumbled out of the bar, almost tumbling to the side. Out of all the nights he had been here, this one was the worst. No matter how many girls he kissed, or how many shots he took, Bethany was in his mind, she was an inescapable part of him, she was always on his mind, her dimple, the sound of her laughter, the scent of her perfume, it was like a ghost haunting him, taunting him because he knew he couldn't have her. He had become a shadow of the person he once was. He would never do this, but this was what he had become.
*
He had become addicted to this life without Bethany in it. He inhaled the regrets of never telling her how he felt all those months like he inhaled the cigarette between his fingers. He knew he couldn't continue like this. He didn't want to end up alone, with nothing to remember about his life but blurry visions of party nights and clothing strewn all over the floor. He just wanted to fall to the ground and scream out for help. He wanted to break the door that confined him from the rest of his life. He needed somebody to save him. No. He needed Bethany to save him.
*
//Has anybody seen all my wasted love?
I've been down every street, no, I won't give up
If I have to die let me testify, that's how it's gonna be
Has anybody seen all my wasted love?//
*
He felt a girl push onto him, knocking the cigarette out of his hand, and pushing her lips to his. For a second he kissed back, trying to imagine what it would feel like if Bethany was the one kissing him right now. Bethany. That was the only thing he could think of, he could barely smell the stench of alcohol and strong perfume on the girl, all he could smell was the scent of raspberries that had always lingered in the air every time he had twirled her at practice. He couldn't hear the loud music coming from the inside of the club or the cars honking wildly on the street, no, he could Bethany babbling in his ear about how nervous she was during a show night, could hear her light laughter in his ear after he had just told a bad joke like all those months ago. He just wanted her back, wanted back all the love he wasted, he just wanted her.
*
//Bring it back to me, all my wasted love//
*
Derek broke apart from the girl and started to walk further and further away from the bar, trying to leave his past behind. He would do this all the time, say he was done with this life and then come back the very next night, all in an attempt to find his wasted love. He was about to turn around and walk back as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out of his pocket tentatively, not in the mood for Julianne or Mark texting him asking him where he was. But it wasn't either of them. Bethany's name flashed on the screen, signifying that she had texted him. Derek felt his eyes widen and his heart stop. He really shouldn't have reacted like that the text was simple. But all of ten words had made his heart race and his hopes rise. "I'm back in New York! Starbucks tomorrow?! I miss you!!"
*
He knew now what he had to do. He knew what to do to save himself, he knew what to do to be happy now, it was all clear. And all those mountains that had stopped him the first time were nothing more than stepping stones now. He felt himself smile for the first time in months as he texted her back, "Of course, I miss you too babe!" He looked out at the street and suddenly felt himself lighten, like all the heaviness from his heart had finally been removed. With three words Bethany helped him more than anybody else could've in a lifetime. 'I miss you.'
*
Bethany had just returned to him all his wasted love.
