Hate.
*
The hate was getting unbearable. She didn't know what she had done to deserve it. Sure, she hadn't posted on YouTube in a while, but she thought her fans would understand how much she had going on with Dancing with the Stars. She had just performed her Paso Doble, it had gone extremely well, but the second she opened her Instagram to post a picture from the night, she had been bombarded with hate.
*
"Ugly."
"Fat."
"Bitch."
"Slut."
"Worthless."
*
She wiped the tears from her eyes, hearing a soft knock on the door to her trailer. She walked to the mirror sighing when she saw her puffy red eyes. There was no way she would be able to hide it in time, she fixed her hair that half an hour ago had been in horns, now in loose curls. She opened the door to her trailer slowly looking up to see Derek with a bright smile, and a box of pizza. His smile instantly vanished the second he saw her red eyes.
*
"Beth, babe, what's wrong?" She lied to him, she couldn't let him see her vulnerable, if she told him what was wrong, maybe he would start to believe the haters too, and she wouldn't be able to bare it. She told him she had hit her ankle around the table with a small laugh, praying that he would believe her. And he did, he laughed at her, making fun of how much of a klutz she was. Bethany laughed along with him, feeling her heart constrict at every laugh she faked.
*
And it continued to be that way for days. Bethany would be reading hate, crying her eyes out, and Derek would find her, but she always made a lame excuse that Derek always seemed to believe.
*
Until one day, she lost it. She started to believe everything that the haters were saying. She knew she was fat, and worthless, she was everything they said that she was. And she let it get to her. She stopped eating, she didn't want to be seen as fat, but Derek noticed. He recruited the rest of the cast to watch out for her. They always made her eat something, just so they wouldn't get suspicious, she ate it. But nobody noticed that she threw it up, she threw up everything that went into her, and she solved that problem. Derek would constantly insist that she should eat; Bethany was already skinny before, she certainly didn't need to use more weight. She had already lost twenty pounds as a result of her plan. Her healthy 113 pound figure had shrunk to a small 96 frail body.
*
Derek noticed every time he lifted her for a dance, but he decided not to say anything. She already had enough on her shoulders, and she certainly didn't need him pounding on her for anything.
*
She continued to let the hate get to her; she continued to change. Her voice that had once been always contaminated by a laugh- was barely heard. The confidence that she had worked so hard for had disappeared, she wore pounds of makeup, never believing Derek when he said that she was beautiful without it. Her eyes that had once been filled with life and light- were dull and lackluster. Her smile that could've caused world peace and cured cancer- was never seen anymore.
*
It was killing Derek, and the rest of the cast, to see her collapse in on herself without knowing the reason. She was doing amazing on the show, Team Motough wasn't only surviving- they were thriving. She hadn't had any bad heartbreaks recently.
*
Everything should've been good, but it very obviously wasn't. When Derek would try to talk to her about it, she insisted that she was fine. But Beth had always been a horrible liar, and Derek could see right through her, but she never cracked. She would lie to Sadie, to Witney, to Janel, anybody who dared to ask her what was wrong.
