MAGIC P.O.V.
For a while, I never thought I'd be here! Me and my husband was best friends and now it's like I don't even want anything to do with him any more....
How does that make you feel? My therapist asked me sitting across from me.
It use to make me angry.....now I'm to the point where I don't care....like I know I was a great wife to him and we went through so much that made us closer and now it's being thrown away. I know I was good and I never changed...it's him he switched up and changed on me plenty of times.
Are you ready to end the marriage?
I think I am....he's the one who suggested it. I have no desire in my heart to fight for my marriage.
Even though he held up a hospital and people hostages you don't wanna be with him?
I mean don't get me wrong I love my husband to death from that situation alone cause if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here right now. But in that same token I can't keep taking the disrespect.
Can you elaborate on the disrespect?
He's currently cheating on me I don't know with who or why but I know he is. He's literally never there when I need him. I'm raising 5 kids one being a new born on my own. My oldest helps out more than he does. Plus he's a drunk now, and he knows he isn't suppose to be drinking.
Why not?
It's a touchy subject...
I understand, do you think he's cheating because of the drinking? As there been some type of argument between you guys or anything to lead to him drinking and wanting a divorce?
No we didn't have an argument....his line of work frustrates him a lot and it causes him to make difficult decisions so that's what he's battling right now. He's using the cheating as a clutch because he's numb and don't have any feelings so he's not taking anyone else's into consideration.
So I take it your feelings are hurt?
Yup....
How are your coping with that?
I go to the gym!
Just the gym?
Yeah....my gym trainer he helps me get through a lot. (I admitted wiping my tears. I never admired anything about Jordan to anybody)
Like what?
He helped me improve my body. Ima healthier me because of him. He helped me get my smile and my confidence back. I lost weight than gained them in all the right places. He shows me respect and he doesn't bring out personal stuff into the facility.
Now when you say personal stuff into the facility what do you mean!?
We recently decided to stop seeing each other outside the gym. We where going clubbing, on dates, he'd cook for me at his house, or just be around each other a lot. We had a lot of oral sexual activities that he would reciprocate to me.
You guys didn't go all the way?
No I decided not to be penetrated because I know I'm still in love with my husband and I know everything was wrong but I slowly didn't care any more and just wanted to move slow.
Do you think you not caring anymore steams up from you and your gym trainers affair?
I wouldn't really call it an affair but no. I've been fed up with my husbands shit for a while....
The timer went off and she wrote a couple things down in her notebook before taking her glasses off and smiling. I've decided to see a therapist because I needed someone to confine in. Someone to vent to without judging me. Someone who I know who wouldn't tell my secrets. Someone who would give me feedback and help me clear my mind to have a better mental health. I just needed to get everything out.
Let's finish this next week! She smiled standing up.
Okay, thank you! She stepped over and gave me a hug. I hugged her back than grabbed all's my tissues from crying throwing them out.
I left the office and made my way to my car than to the mall. I grabbed my purse and got out giving my keys to the valet. That's one thing I will definitely call myself boujee about. It was hard to find mall
Parking....nope I rather have them park my car.
I went into ugg! And they had the Telfar big bag I been wanting, the boots, and matching hat! Yup I had to get all three. I got both my daughters the matching sets as well.
What you buying now? A male voice said from the side of me as I fixed my sock from trying the boots on.
I looked up and it was Martavion. He had a few bags in his hand. He looked so rough. Everybody knows he is one to take care of his self. He loved to look good, smell good, feel good. Now he just looked like a drunken cave men. Beard was nappy, no hair cut in I don't know how long, baggy sweats and a hoodie, with some slides. This man ain't never come out the house just looking any kinda way.
Nun! I said standing up zipping my heels back up and going to the register.
Okay your total is 1,620 dollars and 39 cent! The lady spoke. I went in my purse to grab my card and Martavion gave the lady the money before I could.
You could give her the change! He said with a smile taking my bags for me. I put it all into my purse.
You didn't have to do that! I said grabbing the last bag.
I know....I owe a lot to you and Ima start in anyway I can. He said with a half smile kissing me on my forehead.
Hey girl! I heard a female voice sang. I looked up to see Brittany.
Hey! I smiled. "How are you?"
I'm good and you?
I'm good as well, me and MY HUSBAND just doing some shopping! I said with a smile. "Baby this is Brittany, she's my trainer Jordan girlfriend!" I said with a smile.
Ex girlfriend! Nice to meet you! She said with gritted teeth.
I smiled so hard and waved by to her as we left the store. "Thanks but I'll see you later!" I said taking my bags from him. I honestly didn't need nun from the mall so I left out. MARTAVION IS FUCKIN BRITTANY!
