MAGIC P.O.V.
I um....I made it through the day yesterday....she's going to get life! I said out loud as I wiped my tears. I played with the grass as I stroked Martavion's face on his head stone.
You got justice.! I really wanna kill her or take someone from her so she knows how this hurt feels!
But I know you wouldn't want that! I wiped my tears again. I grabbed my baby from his car seat and he smiled hugely. I hugged him so tight. He was starting to look more and more like Martavion.
The kids miss you so much! I can't believe your son is about to make us grandparents.! Not just one baby on the way but two. These kids will be the death of me.
Or I'll probably die from a broken heart first! I need you and I miss you! I started to cry so hard. Why me? Why was this happening to me. Why did he leave me?! "Come back to me baby please!"
I could literally feel my heart breaking. I curled up holding myself to get through this crying episode. I pushed my hair out my face and it started coming out. I was losing my hair and losing weight. I'll never be the same again!
A white butterfly came an sat on Martavion's grave as I was wiping my tears. I gave a small smile. I know that's him telling me it's okay. I placed my baby into his car seat and picked up the blanket so we could leave. I sat in the car for a moment and took a couple deep breaths.
I was hurt, angry, frustrated, sad, mad, unhappy. I hated everything so bad. It's like my mind and body was fighting so hard against depression and evilness and I felt like I was losing.
When I got home I laid Major in the middle of the bed and took my things off. I stood outside Martavion's closet scared. My head was starting to spin. I touched the door frame as the memory of the first time we walked through this closet played in my head. I walked in and his scent hit me hard. Tears rolled down my face as I touched his clothes slowly walking past them. He use to love when I would stand in front of him and button his shirt for him and tie his tie for him. I stood at his jewelry dresser looking through the lit glass at all his Rolex's, chains, and diamonds. My baby loved to look good.
I remember buying that one.! I smiled and laughed I was so mad at him thinking shit was a game. I was on some left eye shit when i was pregnant with Majesty. I through all his shit into the pool, and into the tub set it on fire poured condiments all over it. Banged his watches until they broke putting them in the toilet. I know he wanted to kill me! I ended up spending over 30,000 the next day on him all new brand new shit! And that piece right there I got custom made. Til the day he died it was still his favorite.
I looked over at his sneakers. This man had every pair of Jordan's, Nike, air max there ever was but it didn't stop there cause he worse every pair of designer you could think of. I remember we broke the shoe racks cause we was having sex. We couldn't keep our hands off each other. He was the only person that could make me feel like it was more than just sex. Our favorite place was doing it in his closet. It use to turn me completely on. How I'd sneak in here after he got out the shower, close the door and he'd already know what I wanted. All he wanted to do was please me.!
I picked the last shirt he had on before he left. It still smelt like him. He had this shirt on the day before we got into the argument and I pulled his gun out on him in this very spot! I wiped my tears. I didn't get the chance to tell him I'm sorry for that....I felt so responsible for his death. He should of been at home! I let my emotions get the best of me and didn't think about anything when I wanted to hurt him. Now look at the position I'm in. It's my fault?
