It's always been you, April Kepner

Diane

Be Still, My Soul
season 13 ep 18

🎵Supermarket Flowers-Ed Sheeran🎵

"a heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved"

~~~~~

Maggie's Mom is dying. Everyone had excepted that, even Diane, especially Diane. But Maggie, she could not, would not even attempt to accept that fact. But Diane had convinced Maggie to invite some of her friends over to Meredith's. So that's where Madelyn found herself.

"Hi! Why are you all here at once?" Maggie asks when she opens the door

"Uh, we... we carpooled. We thought it'd be fun" Webber says

"Yeah, Webber drove us" Jackson says

"And we have wine" Madelyn adds

"You guys, she made me make the noodles from scratch. You know you can buy noodles in a box, right?" Maggie says

-

"Wait, hold on. You were 2?" Arizona asks

"2 years old. And when I say she was reading, it was reading." Diane clarity's "Maggie was not sounding out words or anything"

"Okay, Mom" Maggie says in an attempt to get her to stop

"And you didn't teach her?" Amelia asks

"Oh, nobody could teach her. My baby was a genius. That brain of hers... "

"Okay. That's... Thanks, Mom" Maggie says again

Diane turns to Richard and says "I have you to thank for that, I guess"

"Well" Richard chuckles awkwardly "I don't know about that"

Diane then turns to Meredith "Oh, and your mother. I'd like to pay my respects to Ellis. I'm here, I'm staying in her house, and it's the right thing to do"

"That's very nice, but you don't need to do that" Meredith says

"Oh, but I want to. Where is she buried?" Diane asks making Meredith, Madelyn and Richard all share awkward glances

The brunette distracts herself with her wine in order to stop herself from laughing while Richard clears his throat

"Um...A place where she loved..."

"We dumped her ashes down a scrub sink in OR 2. ..by the water" Meredith admits making the room fall into complete silence

("Oh, my God!" Diane says

"Well, it was her favorite OR, and it seemed like the right thing at the time" Meredith says "We're terrible people" she adds nonchalantly

Diane begins to chuckle eventually turning into a fit of laughter "I love it!" she exclaims making everyone else start laughing "I love it!" but then her laughing turns into a coughing fit

"There you go" Jackson says

"Oh, no" Maggie says getting up "That's okay. That's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay, Mom" she says softly taking Diane away from the table

~~~~~

Madelyn and Meredith both wait in the attending's lounge in an attempt to talk to Maggie, when they finally get her alone it doesn't go the way they expect

"Maggie" Meredith says

"I really don't need you trying to talk me out of anything right now" Maggie says You too" she then directs at Madelyn  rather aggressively

Madelyn ignores the girls harsh tone and instead just gets straight to the point "This protocol is making Diane so sick that her esophagus tore"

"That could just be from the cancer" Maggie defends

"But you can't wait to get her to her next infusion" Madelyn states

"Because my mom wants to live!" Maggie yells "And this clinical trial could give that to her. She wanted to do it. She could've said "no."

Madelyn looks at Meredith who sighs "How? How can she say "no" when her daughter, who is a surgeon, is standing right there, pushing it on her?"

"There have been favorable outcomes!" Maggie says "I just need to get her to the end of the treatment"

"She won't make it to the end of the treatment. She's already dying, and now she's suffering because of it" Meredith says harshly but it's needed

"At least I'm doing something. At least I'm not just giving up and saying "no." Maggie says with a hint of spite

"We are only doing her harm" Meredith says

"You don't get it!" Maggie snaps "Neither of you. You wouldn't! Madelyn, you hate your Mom so you don't get to have an opening and Meredith, I love my mother enough not to say, "Screw it," and throw her down a damn drain"

"Maggie, that's not fair" Madelyn says but Maggie has already gone

"Mer, What do you need? What can I do?" Madelyn asks

"I just need a minute" Meredith replies dismissing herself

~~~~~

Madelyn walks into one of the scan rooms, needing it for one of her patients, but it's occupied by Maggie who's sat on the couch

"I'll come back" Madelyn says attempting to leave

"Can you- can you just stay" Maggie says softly

Madelyn doesn't say anything she doesn't need to, she just takes the seat next to Maggie, the two are shortly joined by Meredith and that's when Maggie begins to talk "She's gonna go... and I'm not ready...I'm not ready"

"You're never ready" Meredith says "You just do it. Listen to her. Talk about whatever she wants to talk about and record her voice in your mind and memorize everything. And just keep sitting there"

Amelia slowly walks in and the four women sit together in a comfortable silence

~~~~~

Diane passed peacefully in the presence of Maggie. And Maggie was, well she wasn't Maggie in that moment. The whole room felt, it didn't feel right. All Maggie needed was...

"Dad?Daddy" Maggie cries walking over to her Dad and breaking down in his arms