Smile

Thirty six

"Okay um, we should-"

"Nope," I cut her off and stood up putting on my shorts and shirt. "No talking lets just do, I'll make you something to eat." I said.

"No, we should definitely talk about what happened last night, and this morning, and- and part of this afternoon um, damn that was amazing," she bit her lip and flopped back into the pillows. "You got wayyyy better."

"Thanks, I had a lot of practice," I smiled as she rolled her eyes and slowly sat back up on her knees. The sheets fell exposing her bare chest.

"I just really think that we- seriously? She pulled the sheet up making me avert my eyes. "I shouldn't have to cover my body up like some insecure virgin."

"Damn, what did virgins do to you?" I asked slowly walking around the bed and up to her.

"Y/n your obviously trying to avoid talking about it," she shivered as I slowly pulled the cover down and kissed up her chest. "And you seducing me isn't going to work."

"I know," I whispered kissing up her jaw. "But it's worth a try right?" I pecked her lips and then pulled her closer sealing our lips completely. My heart actually...smiled. I pulled away slightly and closed my eyes.

"See, I don't know what that was but we need to talk about it." She cupped my cheeks and lifted my head.

I shook my head trying to ignore the feelings she gave me and backed away opening my eyes. "Jazzy, it's gonna be just like the first time we had sex, you wanted to talk afterwards and that talk led to us not talking for a week."

"Okay yeah but, that's because we were young, were adults now," she grabbed my hand.

I shook my head. "I'm not legally an adult I'm only 20, I don't think my mind is ready for this talk."

She scoffed. "What are you so scared of?"

You admitting your feelings for me and then me realizing and admitting my feelings for you causing me to be even more confused because at this point I don't know who wants me or who I want, shit I even think Kehlani has a crush on me.

I really need Quincy.

"Nothing I just don't want to fight," I kissed her hand. "Now what do you want to eat?"

"Stop it and sit down," she pulled me to sit on the bed. "I know you so well which means that I know if we don't talk about it you'll start to over think and eventually distance yourself," she sighed and I became nervous, I know that sigh. "I um, I-"

She's gonna say it and I can't let her say it because I don't know if I'm in love with her. That and I know that later down the road she's either going to end up realizing she doesn't want me or I'll end up fucking everything up and hurting her. I'm not meant to be in a relationship and I'm not meant to fall in love, I get it universe just don't fuck with Jazzy's heart. I can't be the one to hurt her and I honestly don't think I'd be able to take it if she hurt me.

"Pancakes you love my pancakes I'll make pancakes," I rushed out and stood up.

She grabbed my hand pulling me back towards her. "No Y/n I-"

I cut her off again by kissing her and she quickly pushed me back. "Fuck Y/n I'm not going to tell you I'm in love with you or anything I just wanted to say that I don't think this is a good idea."

I relaxed and sat back down. "You weren't going to confess you feelings for me?"

"What feelings?" She frowned.

Craziest shit happened when she said that. My body seemed to sigh in relief but my heart, my damn heart didn't like her response at all.

"Right, you have no feelings for me, great," I stood back up. "I'll make breakfast now."