Smile

Eighty five

I sighed walking into my house. I was being extra quiet since it was only 10 am.

"Y/n?"

I jumped and turned around seeing Travis.

"Why you up so early?" I put my keys down and kicked off my shoes.

Looking up my eyes widened as Travis charged towards me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I'm so sorry."

I frowned and rubbed the top of his head. "What was that about?"

He pulled away and sighed looking down. "Come on kid let's sit and talk."

I scoffed as he walked into the kitchen and I shook my head following him. I sat across from him and watched as he tapped his fingers on the island.

"I still have nightmares and um...the glass that shattered yesterday kind of scared me. When I got scared I got put in a bad mood. At first, I wasn't mad at you- I never was, but when I saw my real dad I guess...I got confused? I wanted him to be a good guy who took me in and showed me what a real father was like. I was mad at him because it took him so long to come for me but I didn't want him to hate me for speaking my mind so I turned my anger towards you."

"So you'd prefer it if I hated you?"

He shook his head. "I just assumed you wouldn't mind, I didn't mean to say all of that I just needed to put all my anger towards someone and I chose you."

"Travis the stuff you said really hurt."

He snapped his head up and nodded. "I know but everything I was saying was directed at him I just changed my words to be directed at you," he shook his head. "I know it wasn't your fault Y/n, you were trying to help us I just, didn't know how to express myself."

"So instead of cursing out a stranger, you curse out your sister?"

He shrugged looking down. "Maybe...maybe I wanted to hurt your feelings too a little bit."

"Because..."

"Because I wanted you to feel what I felt. It's not fair that stuff keeps happening to me. I just didn't want to be the only one hurting."

I scoffed. "Dude, you have a lot to learn."

He looked up at me and raised a brow.

"Every bad thing you go through hurts me."

"That's not possible since it's not happening to you."

I shook my head. "There's this thing called mental pain- Whenever I saw mom get hit I felt the pain mentally."

He hummed. "I don't-"

"Remember when you cried watching The Boy in the Striped Pajamas?"

He nodded.

"You felt bad right?"

His eyes widened. "Ohhh so you feel bad for me."

I shook my head. "No but yes- I'm your sister and I love you so fucking much. Seeing you in pain brings me pain, not physically like you but...mentally."

He looked down and hummed before nodding. "So, like the pain I felt when I saw mom get-"

"Exactly."

He bit his lip and sighed. "I'm sorry Y/n I shouldn't have said any of that and I completely get it if you want to put me up for adoption or something," he nodded. "I would."

I shrugged and chuckled. "I don't know, you know I hold grudges so I'll think about it."

He frowned before snapping. "I'll make you breakfast."