Smile

Fifty eight

I fell to the floor and gripped my jaw. "What the hell Vanessa?"

"I'm about to beat your ass." I went to get up and she placed her shoe on my chest pinning me to the ground. "Three weeks Y/n? Three weeks- you had the fucking audacity to ignore my calls!?"

Welp, looks like fear is back.

I gulped as she straddled me and gripped my shirt all in one swift motion. "I-I'm sorry I didn't-"

She slapped me. Hard. "Not only did you make Quincy cry, but you also made Travis cry too."

And that's when everything hit me. Travis, I left fucking Travis because I was too busy trying to ignore my pain by sleeping with anyone I could.

I left my brother. The brother who I know was taking this harder than me.

"And you- oh," she caressed my cheek. "Did I hit you too hard? I didn't mean to make you cry ba- actually I did fuck you," she climbed off and sat next to me. "What happened?"

I sniffed as my heart took jab after jab of pain. "I-I forgot about Travis, I tried to ignore all of my feelings and because of that I forgot about Travis."

She laid back sighing. "I realized something, when I first met you I thought the way you would always put everyone first was adorable but after this stunt you pulled," she smacked my stomach. "I realized you only put them first because it benefited you."

I sniffed and nodded looking over at her. "Your right, shit I'm a fuck up."

"No, you just fucked up." She shook her head.

"Yeah, I fucked up bad," I groaned. "Travis needed me, I haven't seen Jasmine in three- my fucking baby, I haven't talked to my baby in three weeks Ness, I-I can't go see them they probably hate-"

"Y/n look, the thing about Travis, Quincy, and Jasmine is that they know and love you. Quincy isn't mad at you he's upset because he couldn't help you, Travis isn't mad at you he just misses you and Jasmine...well Jasmine is pregnant so one minute she's pissed at you then she's sad because she misses you and then she's happy that your at least alive...point is," we both chuckled. "They love you and they may be upset at first but trust me they'll forgive you," she raised a brow. "Me on the other hand," we chuckled again and then she frowned. "Why didn't you talk to me?"

I shook my head. "Because nobody would understand the pain I'm going through other than Travis."

She scoffed. "You can't just assume-" she nodded and stood up grabbing my arm roughly. "Come on you dick." I jumped up stumbling over my feet as she pulled me outside to the patio. "Staying at the fucking Peninsula." I chuckled as she pushed me down to the ground and sat in front of me. "Don't laugh, I don't like you right now."

I nodded and grabbed her hands. "I'm sorry for just up and leaving and ignoring you and everyone else. Something I do a lot is run away from my problems so that I don't have to feel pain because that shit sucks," rolled my eyes as they started to water. "And my fucking mom, I can't survive without her I just didn't want to accept the fact that she's..." I shook my head and looked down.

She sighed and scooted closer to me. "Same thing that happened to you happened to me." She whispered as I frowned looking back up at her. "My dad killed um...he killed my mom when I was nineteen." I went to talk and she shook her head. "Shhh, Y/n I know exactly the pain your feeling but you didn't even think to talk to me or any fucking one and that shit hurts-"

I nodded. "I know Nessa I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing and stop cutting me off," she gripped my hand. "That hurt but, I understand. When my mom died I tried to tell myself that what happened was an accident that he loved her and he didn't mean to. Everyone kept trying to tell me that I had to forget him and hate him but I just couldn't because we've always been so close."