Jones

Ch 87

Too Much~ Drake

New Flame~ Chris Brown 

PAULINAS POV//

After the traumatizing Friendsgiving Daniel threw Angie wanted to have an actual Friendsgiving of her own.  It's tomorrow and everyone is invited except Daniel. She actually considered inviting him and it took a lot of convincing to get her out of it. 

It's been 2 months since I broke up with Isaac. I miss him. I shouldn't. I was a flower petal and he was the stem. Together we made beauty that couldn't be destroyed by any of the strongest forces of Earth. He completed me. I completed him. We were golden. Whole. Powerful. Don't get me wrong I don't have regrets about dating Angie. But I'm not dropping the L word yet. I've dropped the L word plenty of times but not in the way I used to use it with Isaac. I would probably never take Isaac back. He cheated on me. Mama didn't raise a bitch so. 

We all die in the end but we all don't get to live. I feel like I'm stuck on a Faris wheel. One minute I'm on top of the world and the next I hit rock bottom. Things could be going perfectly until some annoying miserable aspect of my life has to pop up and destroy that moment. I've been stuck on this stupid rollercoaster with Isaac and Angie and I'm truly tired. One minute Isaac loves me and he wants me back and the next he's throwing himself into an unwanted relationship in an attempt to make me jealous. One minute Angie cant get her hands off me and the next she doesn't even want me to touch her. Both of them are just confusing and difficult to understand. I'm still trippin over Tommy on top of everything so I can't even get my bitch ass to focus on one person. 

Let me tell you something. At first, everything makes sense but the deeper you get into it, you realize you know nothing at all. There's no need to rush through on things too but I thought I knew the ropes of a relationship but I can't make Angie happy. Sometimes love can make you do things you wouldn't ever think you'd do. I broke up with the so-called love of my life for my best friend. Never thought I'd do that. 

Sometimes love can levitate you. 

Sometimes it can destroy you. 

Remember when JLo told her Papi she loves him or when Drake told you to Own it or when Ariana Grande said shes got one less problem without you? Well, this is kinda like that. I do love Isaac. I want to own my relationship with Angie and I would really have one less problem without Tommy being all cute and shit. Ugh, I just really need to get my shit together. The bird always dies. 

I'm at Angie's house helping her get ready for her little thing and I can't help but stare. I'm so happy I chose her over Isaac. Tommy can wait but Angie? No. I'm not letting that wait. I know how magical its all going to be. 

I'm going to make this one last. It's not like by sophomore year in High School we'll be over. I'm officially off the market. I never knew what love actually was until I got a taste of how Angie does it. She does it real good. She knows what she's doing. And no I'm not trying to set any sexual innuendos. She knows how to love. She just doesn't know how to receive it or recognize when someone is in the act of loving her. She never got that from Daniel. Or anyone. I'm pretty sure she's still on edge about me. I know she's skeptical. Why would anyone's best friend just decide to drop their boyfriend and date them? No one in their right mind. Exactly why I did it.  Everyone judges you when you're different. 

ˇThe humor behind all of this is that everyone has been pointing fingers at me and Angie without knowing the whole story. I'm the bad guy for breaking up with a cheater and Angie's the bad guy for breaking up with an abuser. It's unreal how these people can attempt to see right through you without seeing all of you. 

The next time you catch feelings remember to go with your gut. It's always right. 

Don't you know what love is real? You'll know. Let that shit sink in.