Jones

Ch 96

PAULINAS POV//
For a long time, I've hidden all of our dark sides from you. We all have shit to deal with that gets in the way of better shit that we don't get the opportunity to deal with. I'm here to be completely and utterly raw with you. I mean I always am because I like to keep it real. I got that from Crystal. She keeps it real and raw 100% of the time. She's never dull or fake which is why we cherish her so much.

I know I make it sound like we're all perfect and this is a fairytale you get to read but it really isn't. Every day I go home from school and have to deal with a 4-year-old and a 7-year-old stepping, spit on and beating on me. I'm not gonna say "boys will be boys" because if a girl gets called a  whore people will find a way to batter her if she says "girls will be girls". My brothers are like cut open wires. Electrified and full of energy because hello. They're kids.

Angie has to deal with her mom and dad fighting over who gets to spend time with her every weekend not to mention her booze-loving father who uses liquor as an outlet when Angie's mom is being well a mom. She's pretty fucked up but we don't talk about it. Rough childhood. Didn't we all?

Crystal. Well, she has to be my favorite. Crystal has been slapped shitfaced by life but refuses to actually truly mention it or even beg for mercy. She isn't a pity seeker like most middle schoolers nowadays.
Everyone else really just has their own shit. Either depressed or on the verge of depression. That's how the transition works. The transition from the winter months to the summer months in 8th grade. It's just that way. You see, the thing about being sad is that it's inevitable. We all get sad and we can't shame others for being sad. If we don't feel sad at the moment that doesn't mean everyone else is happy for the moment. Sadness is universal and it refuses to stop consuming the hearts and minds of people who are so afraid of it. We graduate in two months and all of us are walking around like zombies because we'll be leaving the safe haven we called middle school for three years. Those who started out as human Kleenex are now becoming the users of human Kleenex. Also known as the despicable relationship between sixth and eighth graders. Torturous. Now don't worry the real story will come shortly but for now, hang on because I'm getting really tired. I've been telling you my story for years and soon it'll be coming to a close. But have no fear a new one is near. But for now, listen to this.
APRIL 23, 2015//
It's fourth period and I forgot my P.E shit in my locker. While I'm at my locker I hear footsteps. They belong to the one and only Angie. This kind of thing has never happened before. We've never coincidentally met outside of class like this.
"What're you doing out of class?" I ask and slam my locker shut.

"Ms. Wright needed me to run prints over to the office for display," She says and flings around the orange vest our school calls a hall pass.

"I'll walk you back to P.E," She says and holds my hand as we walk back to the field through the outside lunch tables.

I take a second to think about it and I stop her. I think we're ready and this is the right time for our first kiss. I stand in front of her with my hands on top of hers. She stares at me and giggles because the silence gets too awkward. I stare back through the glare of her glasses and soon my lips are pressed against hers. A cold .4 second kiss that feels like the first time all over again just better and more sensitive. Like we're really young kids.

"Wow," She says after.

"I know," I respond.

"Go to class," She says and let's go of my hands her face still wrapped tightly around a smile.
I walk to the field and when I turn around I see Angie skipping to class and practically leaping out of her skin. I hope she liked her birthday present.

APRIL 25th, 2015//
Today is Angie's birthday also known as the most important day of the year. Daniel got her a huge box of presents that he keeps following her around with and Crystal took her out for Mani-Pedis yesterday. But the thing she doesn't know is that I actually got her what she asked for. A gift card to her favorite store. Joann's. When she opened the card she was so genuinely happy it was like watching a homeless person receive prayer. Sweet and innocent.
Turning 14 means becoming of age. High school wise. No more parties. No more birthday sleepovers and no more fuckshit like that. We're all grown up now we don't have time for this. That's what Angie decided. She didn't want anything extravagant or extra or over the fucking top. With school being so close to a close we just don't have the heads for it right now. A birthdays a birthday and if you're lucky you'll get more than one. Two days ago I had my first official kiss with Angie. Since then I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was amazing and sweet and not like the other times when it was just a mistake. Cruel and meaningless. This one was meaningful and worth getting out of class for. I still remember the red stains of natural blush plastered on her cheeks after I kissed her. I still remember the cold slobber on her lips when I kissed her. That's how you know it was natural and real. I don't like to compare things to Isaac but it was nothing like Isaacs. Isaac was warm and like he'd already been kissed. Angie's been kissed but not by me. Not by an Angel. Isaac was like kissing warm rubber. Don't get me wrong he tasted fucking amazing but kissing Angie's small slobbery lips was like kissing a baby. I'm not a pedofile don't worry but that's the best thing I can compare it to. Angie has only said a few things about our first official kiss. Sweet things of course. She said it was the best first kiss of her life. Full offense to Daniel of course. That dipshit. Like I said the story doesn't end here. I'm not exactly done. But I'm not exactly continuing. You'll just have to wait and see. We all have our stories. Crystal, Angie, Isaac, Kassidy even fucking Ivy. All of us. Daniel has to have a reason for being a freakshow on toes. Crystal has to have a reason for being so defensive and mean. Angie has to have a reason for being so helpless and weary. I have a reason for being so confused and unnatural. I just won't tell you yet.