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When You Were made~ The Growlers

My final days at Millikan begin now. Graduation rehearsal starts today and besides the fact this is like practicing meeting the grim reaper, it's like preparing for the death of something you thought you'd be able to keep alive for a little while longer. The sky is grey and it looks like the clouds are ready to say goodbye. Like us. All the eighth graders are piled onto the 8th Grade Lawn waiting for graduation prep instructions. People are either crying or excitedly jumping up and down because this is it. 

"Ok ladies and gents for the next few days we'll be practicing for graduation. Ladies, you guys can bring your heels or whatever it is you need to practice walking in. Dudes, you guys can bring dress shoes to break them in," Our counselor says through the microphone. 

"From across the lawn, I see Kassidy trying to cream her feet into a pair of strappy black and gold heels. Crystals in line ready to be seated and won't stop dancing to the choirs' practice runs. Daniel and Angie have taken the liberty of reconnecting. Personally, I don't support this decision and Crystal was frankly not too happy to find out Angie started making conversational relations with someone who hits her. 

Right now she's standing in front of me with her new gay best friend, Daniel, talking about summer plans and high school plans. I'm getting sick to my stomach just watching how happy he is engaging in their conversation. Daniel always wins. He gets my girlfriend for four years and the whole fucking summer. It feels like the dawn of the dead at school right now. Everyone is so happy, yeah, but you can tell behind the Baby Lip smiles and incoming mustaches, everyone is dying. 

Bad enough it took everyone 8 months to get over Problem and Break Free by that singing weasel. Now we have a new problem. Growing the fuck up. This is our time ladies and gentlemen. It's our turn to let life bend us over and give us a good fuck in the ass. Sorry to be graphic but its the goddamn truth. 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Can I stay here tonight?" 

Angie stands in the doorway of my bedroom holding a backpack and her stuffed panda. Her eyes are dripping and her lids are a lovely shade of pink. I jump out of bed and wonder why she's at my house at 10 pm. 

"What happened?" I ask her and hold her face in my hands. Her face starts to conceive itself before tears start pouring. She shakes her head and sniffles. 

"My mom and dad are at my house fighting over me right now," She says and pushes her baby hairs back.

"What?" I ask because that is no reason to run away from home. 

"My dads wasted and he's fighting with my mom about custody," She says and inhales. 

"Ok sit tell me what happened," I say and throw her backpack in the corner of my room. 

She sits on my bed and I shut the door before burrowing in front of her. 

"I tried calling Crystal but she didn't answer which is unusual. She always answers," She says, her voice still shaky. 

"She's on a date," I say and sip the rest of my black tea out of the worn out Thermus next to my bed. 

"What? Why didn't she tell me?" She asks. "Who is she with? Imported or Domestic?" 

"Imported. And that kid Gabriel from Rio actually kept his word and came to California."

"She's still pissed about you talking to Daniel," I say and clear my throat because I hate talking about that fuckhead. 

"Is everyone mad about that? My parents are pissed and I don't even know how they found out about the behind the scenes crap between me and Daniel," She questions and I can't help my brain from replaying the conversation I had with Angie's mom about Dickhead Daniel and allowing him to see Angie.

"Yeah. It's a wonder," I say and down the rest of my tea. 

"Ok, so whats been going on?" I ask and rub her knees.

"Well your insipid question requires me to give you an explanation," She begins stirring up my worries. "My dad started drinking when he was 12. He never stopped but he knew how to control it. My mom left him for the things he did when it got out of control. That's why I only go to him for hours and not days. You can't keep an alcoholic away from what they love," She says and looks at her chipping nail polish. 

"Angie, I'm so sorry," I say my eyes tearing up because I never knew this. 

"We're all so messed up Paulina. Why does everything have to be like this?" She asks me and it pains me to see her in pain. She's just going through this because we're ending a huge chapter in our lives. 

"Life is so hard," She cries. 

"For Christ's sakes, I was stuck in a relationship that I thought I couldn't live without. Crystals probably getting herself mixed up with another guy who will be no different from Sean. Kassidy was nothing but a warm mouth to Tommy WHO probably has feelings for you AND Daniels gay,

" she says out of breath. 

"Ok, ok its ok, come here," I say and pull her by her oversized flannel to lay on my lap. She lays on my lap and covers her face with her sleeves. She lets out loud gasps and cries. I don't know what to do exactly. I can't help the tears that roll down my cheeks from watching someone I love cry like this. It's possibly the worst pain I've felt in the moment. I let her cry for a moment while I text Crystal. 

*Angie said she's been trying to call you. What the fuck?* I send.

*I know. I'm on a date do you mind?* she sends back.

*Well, she's at my house hysterical* I send hoping this will crack her shell.

*About what. What happened* She sends back in a heartbeat.

*Some shit about her mom and dad fighting* I say.

*Oh yea. That gets bad. She hasn't talked about that in a while. Keep me posted but I'll see you tomorrow*

"So can I stay here?" Angie asks and wipes her face.

"Does your mom know you're here?" I ask and she nods. 

"Did you eat dinner? Did you shower?" My protective instincts start to take effect. 

"Yes, now can we go to bed?" She asks and starts to tuck herself under my sheets. She throws her flannel at the end of my bed and soon her bra flies off. 

"You're not gonna make me lay here alone are you?" She asks turning in my direction while calmly tucked in. I turn off my bedroom light and crawl into bed next to her. I keep the appropriate 10 inches between us because this is our first 'sleepover' as a couple. 

"Closer," She says and reaches her hand behind her and touches my leg. I scoot closer to her and disregard shyness. I slide my leg between her knees and put my arm over her torso. I've never been big spoon before but there's always a first for something. 

Aside from the 10-minute make-out sessions in the bathroom by the art room and the secret hand holding that happens on the 8th-grade lawn, my puppy love relationship with Angie has me over the moon. I'm not sure how I feel about us being high schoolers in three months. I'm not sure how I feel about Angie being in a different school than me for four years. We've been together for most of middle school. Everything still feels new. I'm over the moon about graduating and finally leaving this shithole but I'm not over the moon about leaving my best friend, my soulmate, my everything. 


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