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FEB. 13, 2015//

PAULINAS POV//

 You know that show Shameless? You know that asshole Frank? Yeah well, think about it for a second. By the way, this has no relation to where I'm taking you. Anyway Frank. He's a drunk and a junkie but for people who really know the show and study his character, you'll realize he has a very very brilliant mind. Its great minds who go to waste. They often times go to the wrong people. That's why some of our highest lawmakers are dipshits. That's why most teachers are hated.  Frank once said, "I believe in a force that thinks its greater than myself," You see, he didn't exactly mention God but he was getting there. There are possibilities that there are plenty of forces stronger than humans themselves and even God, however, there really is no plausible theory that there is. With that being said, I lied. This does have a relationship with what I'm about to say. Tomorrow is valentines day which means love is all over the fucking place. I want to puke. Last Valentine's Day, I was elbow deep in heterosexual lust with Isaac. gross right? Now I'm neck deep in love with Angie. Sweet right? 

Now Valentine's day is meant for people who are so swallowed up by lust and "passion". Not people Lika me and Angie. Love is not meant to be cute. It's meant to be raw and destructive. Which is why we agreed on no gifts. Or at least I did. She's supposed to be coming back to school tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited. 

"Guess who showed up today?" Crystal says to me when I walk into school. 

"No, you're joking," I deny trying not to smile. 

"If it's not Angie then you're really mean!" I say trying to keep my cool. 

"Well, Miss. Intestines-be-gone is standing right over there," Crystal says and points in Angie's direction. When I turn to my left, I see Angie. A brand new form of Angie. 

"I'm back," She greets when I walk up to her. 

"Well look at you. You look so much better," I say and give her a hug. Her face is cold from the chilly February air. 

"Yeah yeah, you got your homecoming now we have to go to class," Crystal says and uses her hands to push us in the direction of first period. 

"Are you going to be alright for Formal in a couple of days?" I ask Angie.

"Yeah. Yeah. I'll be fine. I even bought a new dress. One that fits. I'm a size 2 now," She says in a mellow but excited tone. 

"Wow, we wear the same size now," I say in a more excited tone to weigh hers out. 

"Are you gonna be ok in class today?" I ask concerned.

"Jesus Pauls, whats with the interrogation? I'll be ok," she says and stares at me with a soft smile plastered on her face. 

"Yo, Bonnie, Clyde. Let's go," Crystal says in an annoyed voice. 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

VALENTINE'S DAY//

Ah the sweet sacred holiday for lovers near and far. Valentine's Day. I was never into it. Everyone has their lockers covered in hearts and pictures of their significant others. But not me. That romantic shit is just out the window. 

"HAPPY VALENTINES DAY," I hear a voice say. Because I'm too busy bent over my locker to get it open I disregard who it is. But they come and stand next to me. It's Angie. When I look up she has flowers balloons and a giant card in her hands to match the giant smile on her face. 

"Wow. What's all this?" I ask and study everything in her arms. 

"Your gifts silly," she laughs.

"I thought we said no gifts?" I try and laugh off my big fucking mistake. 

"But Paulina, it's our first Valentine's Day," Angie says trying to maintain her smile. 

"But we're a new couple. we don't need all that romance shit," I plea. 

"I don't care about getting presents I just want you to put the effort in," she says. 

"Is this our first fight?" I ask.

"It wouldn't have to be if you gave two shits about a holiday meant for people like us," She says in a stern voice. 

"A lot of people don't celebrate Valentine's day. Watch. Hey Crystal how do you feel about Valentine's day," I ask Crystal who just so happens to be walking by. 

"Love is for losers," She says and stops walking.

"You see Angie," I prove my point.

"You two are losers," she says and continues walking. I'll take that as a compliment especially coming from Crystal. 

"Well I'd rather be a loser than loveless," she says. "Please accept my gifts and at least draw me a 12-second car on a sheet a lined paper," She says her hopes dropping.

"Angie. I'll make it up to you," I say and accept her gifts. 

"Come here," I say luring her into a hug. She hesitates but soon makes her way into my arms.

"Just wait until formal," I whisper and she chuckles. 

I get I'm not the type for love but a lot of people aren't. Love picks and chooses who it attacks and sadly I was one of its victims. I didn't want to love Angie but, God, I just can't help it. She's just, fuck. I can't even. Don't get me fucking started with that dickhead Isaac. I thought I loved him too and to be brutally honest with you, I did. I really fucking did. Pat Benatar was right. Love is a battlefield.

"You know, you really fucked up," Crystal says to me when I walk into class.

"What'd she do this time? Go straight on Angie?" Kassidy laughs.

"Shut the fuck up Kassidy," Crystal barks. 

"I suggest you watch who you're talking to," Kassidy fires back. 

"And I suggest you sit the fuck down," Crystal yells. 

"Anyway, What was I saying?" Crystal reenters our conversation as if anything didn't just happen.

"Angie gets really butthurt if you don't like her gifts," Crystal explains.

"That's the thing. I loved them I just didn't get her anything because I didn't know we were doing the whole lovey dovey shit," I say.

"Ooooh, that's even worse. yeah. You fucked up," She says and shakes her head. 

"Congratu-fucking-lations, you just realized," I say pissed. 

"Listen Paulina. I know how you are. And I still don't like you. I don't blame you for keeping your barrier up. Always move with caution. Don't let anyone in," She says and her words hit me hard. 

"Have you seen the type of person Angie is? If I carry myself like that she'll be headed for a bad place," I question. 

"I'm not saying act like a bitch but be careful. Don't confuse lust for love, and don't even think about taking advantage of my best friend. Got it?" she finishes.

"Got it,"

It's not every day a middle school lesbian couple has a fight about presents. It's not every day your significant others best friend is giving you advice on how to keep your walls up. 

But it's not over until the fat lady sings. 

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