Forbidden | Ahsoka x Reader

Chapter 24 | Do I?

"Do I..still belong here?" You quietly uttered. After waking up you've realized that...there isn't much keeping you apart of the code. You've always had a deep unsettling feeling that what you were doing as a Jedi was wrong, that it wasn't what the Jedi were set out to be.

Ahsoka tries to respond to your frankly shocking question, but she can't. Her bottom lip lightly shivers as her head starts to shake around. You hated putting her in such a position, but you wanted Ahsoka's thoughts on your query.

You hear her dry breaths come out quickly in short huffs before she can muster up enough courage to answer. "...W-what do you mean?" She shivers, you spot a frail tear slip from her right eye.

"I-I'm sorry." You quickly intervene, grasping her hands firmly. "That was a stupid question. I'm sorry." You apologized with sincerity. 'I don't want to see her cry because of me.'

"(y/n), it's not a stupid question. Tell me the truth." Ahsoka demanded firmly. She climbed onto your bed, placing herself in your lap with her arms around your neck. She flicked the entrance door closed with the force, before looking straight back to you.

"Tell me." She whispered, putting you into a place of comfort.

"...The way I'm living, not just now but for this whole war. It's felt wrong...and all I feel is pain and suffering at every turn I go down, until you were there for me. Before then I never really had a reason to be happy or thankful for anything.." You rested your head against Ahsoka's bare shoulder. "..Only when I started loving you was when I was able to truly embrace happiness...So, if the only thing keeping me happy and thankful for this life I have, is forbidden by the order itself...why stay?" You stammered, nuzzling yourself into Ahsoka's warm and comforting embrace.

She placed a single finger beneath your jaw and lifted your face till your eyes fell level with hers. "(y/n)?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know Master Qui-gon?"

You nodded. "Yeah, he was Obi-wan's master."

"Well, over the past couple years, Anakin and especially Obi-wan told me a lot about him. He wasn't a normal Jedi. He denied a seat on the council, he would do what he thought was right, not what the council dictates. He was one of the most beloved and respected Jedi in the whole order who trusted in only the force. He was able to use his connection with the force to help people. Without him and his commitment Anakin would still be a slave on Tatooine and-"

"I wouldn't exist." You interrupt her.

Ahsoka mentioning Qui-gon made you think. He found the chosen one, and he brought him into the order. He trained Obi-wan, who was...or is one of the most powerful Jedi in the order. If it weren't for him and his training, Darth Maul would probably still be alive causing chaos.

"(y/n)?" Ahsoka whispered, placing her gloved hands on either side of your face, and pulling your gaze back to her. She doesn't say anything, she just keeps eye contact with you. You looked into her eyes which was your place of comfort. A place you could go and be completely free with your mind and soul.

'I can't leave. I have a rare and amazing gift. I should help people with my gift, not be selfish. If I left I could become something like Dooku, he was in a similar position...And I can't leave Ahsoka, not a chance.' Her ocean blue orbs shone in the rooms light, letting you see what you were really thinking of doing.

You smiled. "Ahsoka, thank you for opening my eyes. You didn't lie when you said you'll always be here for me. And I will always be here for you. I'm staying here." You beamed. Your smile reflected on her lips before she leaned in and joined her lips with yours in a passionate and joyous kiss. You happily kissed her back, lovingly placing your arms around her until she parted from the kiss, and rested her forehead on yours. You love when she does that.