What Really Happens: NCIS

Chapter 52

"I just wanted to know if we do anything together like we did on Thanksgiving. That is when she told me what everyone does on Christmas."

I'm walking with Tony in the mall as we sip the coffee, he bought us. He made a gross look when I ordered my black coffee. I made the same look when he added all that hazelnut flavor. We have looked through a couple windows, but he never sees anything he likes.

"I was wonder how you knew what I was doing. Then, I just figured that everyone visits their family over the holiday. Then, I thought again and was like, how did she know I was going into the city?"

"I don't know why people go there this time of year besides visiting family. It is full of tourist and is freezing. It sounds so unpleasant."

"It isn't too bad when you grew up in Long Island."

I bring my lower lip back. "Oh, wow."

"What?"

"I should have known. You seem like the New York type."

He makes a face. "Since I come from New York, I am going to say thank you."

"Sorry, I don't mean it in a bad way. I just mean we probably don't have much in common if you come from that life style."

"I object, you and I have referenced so many iconic movies that we could write a book about it."

I put my hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright." I know it I horrible for me to judge people that come from that life style. I don't like it when they judge me, so I shouldn't judge them. I feel like I get a pass because I am poor, now working, but that doesn't change much on James account. When I make fun of them it is fun. When they make fun of us it is hurtful. A complete double standard but I just roll with it for as long as I can.

"Being with me doesn't make you want to dance like the Rockettes or sing like Sinatra?"

"First of all, I don't have the height requirement. Second, Frank is from Hoboken, New Jersey. Third, aren't we supposed to be shopping for your father?"

"What about you? Don't you see anything you like for your parents? I feel like a woman would like this dress." He points to a long teal dress with no sleeves. "Would your mom like that?"

"Mom?" I have been talking about her a lot lately. This is the most I have ever talked about her since she passed. I have been talking about her so much that I forget that Tony doesn't know that she has passed.

"My mom passed away."

"Oh, I'm sorry Peters."

"Don't worry about it, I was eight, and now that I think about it, I find it to be easier than knowing her longer."

As I am walking, I notice he isn't beside me. I turn around and he is still standing in front of the blue dress. His eyes are just staring at me, he isn't moving. I rapidly go back to him and wonder why he is still.

"What's wrong, Tony?"

"You said she passed away when you were eight?" I shake my head. "I was eight when my mother passed away."

I stand in shock. I don't know what I was saying before, I should have just accepted the apology and went on. "I'm sorry, Tony. I didn't mean it was easier to get over when you are younger. It is nothing to get over it is something that you carry with you all the time. I just meant-"

"I know what you meant and I agree. If I would have gotten to know her more, it would have hurt more." Exactly.

We start walking again and find ourselves in Neiman Marcus.

"My mom, she passed away in the hospital. I was next to her when it happened. We were watching a movie."

"That couldn't have been easy for you."

"No, but I think about her every day. I don't think about what happened. It is just what I have to do, you know?"

I wish I could say the same for me. I remember how she died more than the memories we did have together. Sometimes, I don't think we have any because I don't remember much. They are in the back of my brain. I try to find them when I think about her death and they never appear. Except, that time when I met Fornell, and he reminded me of my birthday for some reason. That was weird, but if it helped me remember her, I am not going to argue. I am going to keep my distance though.

We are in the men's suit section. Why am I not surprised? "Let me guess, your dad wears suits like you?"

"Yeah, he probably has all of these. It can't hurt to have an extra, right?"

Sure.

"How about you? How did you mom pass?"

I stop in my tracks and almost drop my coffee. My legs are weak and as I'm about to fall forward, he comes to me just in time and helps me catch my balance.

"Peters, you alright?"

"Yeah, sorry." That has never happened before. Probably because no one has ever asked me that before.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you that out of the blue like that. I should have let you say it on your own time."

He holds up a blue suit and a black suit. "Which one do you like more?" I love his train of thought. He isn't creating a distraction. He is just being Tony.

"You know, usually I would always say black. I don't know the blue is surprisingly doing something for me."

"That's what I was thinking."

We look at each other and say the obvious answer at the same time. "Blue."

We head to check out and make our way to the car.

"You said you were hanging out with Abby after this?"

"Yeah, you all are leaving me for the holiday."

"I'm sorry, Peters. You have me all year around, except this holiday. And not all of us are leaving you. I don't know what Gibbs and Tim do but I don't think they leave you."

Why is that everyone's answer? How is it they know what everyone else is doing but not those two?

"Want me to drive you to Abby's?"

I shake my head and we get in the car. It was nice having a little hang out with Tony. I can't believe Tim thought something was going between us. If he saw us today, he would have seen what I have been telling him there is, just a friendship.