Frozen (Frat Boy Niall) EDITING

Chapter 78

Niall's POV*

My eyes stared straight ahead of me as I watched the door slam shut behind a well known girl.

The girl who I'd just pushed straight off a bridge.

The girl who still held my heart, stretching it further from my body as I let her take each agonizing step.

I griped on to my hair letting out a growl before I turned to Gemma who sat back staring at me with wide eyes.

I fucking hate myself.

I hate her.

"This is all your fucking fault!" Man, I have never wanted to punch a girl more in my life.

"Niall, I-"

"I would suggest you shut the fuck up, right now!" I hissed, unable to rid of the burning that was tearing through my veins at the moment. "God, I could fucking strangle you!" I felt my heart slowly crumble, withering into nothing. "You've fucking ruined everything that I've tried so hard to have." The whisper left my mouth, but I could barely feel my lips move.

"Niall-" I cut her off with a head shake as I released my hair and just let my head hang.

"I want you to leave."

"I'm sor-"

"Leave, damn it!"

Her head snapped up and it was as if some one out dynamite under her ass as she scurried to the door as fast as she could.

I felt my chest cave inwards, suffocating my lungs as I dropped to the floor.

I just pushed the only thing I loved out of my life.

The only thing that loved me.

My only source of light was now gone. My candle had burned out and it was all my fault.

I didn't mean to make that bet for self enjoyment. I just didn't want Luke to have her. I was selfish and I wanted her to myself. I didn't want Luke to abuse her kindness. Little did I know that I'd be the one to do that.

The words that had flown out of my mouth were like acid on my tongue, burning holes into it as each syllable left.

I shouldn't have said any of that. It wasn't true. Not one word.For some reason I just wanted to see her cry hard for me. I wanted her to hurt. I wanted to see her heart break.

I knew she was no good for me. I fucking knew it, and it's because of shit like this. It's because of shit that I do to people. I push them away and I don't know why. I can't help it.

When you love someone you're supposed to want to make them happy, not hurt. But what I did this morning, that's not loving someone.

Khloe's right. My love is shit.

I just wish that she would have sat down with me and talked this out. I wish I could've explained my motives and how even if I did steal her heart first, I wasn't going to have sex with her.

That's why even after, I kept pushing her away. I wasn't ready for her to have to sex because she didn't need to. I didn't want her to become one of those girls who think that they need to give themselves away just because everyone else was.

That night... that night was nothing but special to me too because I proved to myself that I didn't need to sleep around to have fun. I waited three damn months for her. It showed me that I can really love someone for them and not for sex. That whole day that we spent together was one of my favorites. I got to learn her in new ways and I got to see what's underneath the Khloe I know. That damn bet had nothing to do with how I feel for her and how our sexual life is now.