Dedicated alexan629
Plot and Idea: Different
Genre: Action
Summary:
[N E E D S S E R I O U S E D I T I N G]
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I've never understood why the world finds a need for war even after our universe has crashed, even after our home has been turned to nothing more than a pile of ash and there is no one strong enough to fight.
Some call us monsters, some call us heroes, some say we were the cause of it all, of the desolation of mankind, and others believe that we were forged from the ashes of the apocalypse.
But no matter what they call us, no matter what they say, we are still feared, we are hunted, captured, tortured and killed. Chased across the globe until we are too tired to run, too worn out to hide.
But soon it will end.
What is left of humanity is nothing more than a barren wasteland, than crumbling towers and the few condemned souls that survived the plague.
They created us to repair, to fix what they had so swiftly lost, we were born to preserve, to resurrect, to save them from extinction.
Yet we failed.
The humans dwindled and died, placing the last of their faith in a masked man and his corrupt empire.
We were no longer the heroes, but the villains.
My name is Clara Conn and I am the last of my kind.
I am a Jumper.
The last Jumper.
And I won't let them catch me, not without a fight.
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Highest Ranking: #8 in Action, #95 in General Fiction
My Review: First things first you need some help with your punctuation when it comes to dialogue. You are very good at description and need no help when it comes to that. You have slow character development, but you are good with your setting description. You have nice grammar and spacing and paragraphing. There isn't much wrong with your sentence structure, unless you're in dialogue. You have an interesting cover, which may bring in a certain audience. Your capitalization is okay most of the time and your flow is good. You have good tense from what I have read and your stories pace isn't overwhelming.
Rating: 9
Overall: You have lots of good things going for you, but need some work here and there.
