"It's that time of year again! Competitors from all over the globe are preparing to test their merit in the ultimate show of strength. The SM tournament begins May 14th. Swordsman! Sharpen your swords! People, prepare yourselves for the show of a lifetime as competitors leave it all in the ring for the title of 'The Strongest Fighter in the World!'"
Three years ago the Shadow Slayer disappeared. Said to be one of the strongest swordsman to ever grace the SM tournament and master of Shadow magic. No one knows what happened. He was there one moment and gone the next. Lexi Talbot a young blonde haired young teenage girl, was found unconscious on the beach with no memory when she woke up a year ago. On the surface she appears to be a smart yet typical girly girl. Undaunted by the loss of her memory, she makes the most of her situation. She goes to school. Makes friends with a fellow blonde by the name of Sandra Widdick and a handsome boy by the name of Blaise Chester who can't decide which team to bat for.
Makes good grades and enjoys playing sports. But the clang of swords rings in her ears and shadows seem to stretch out around her. And sometimes. Sometimes she can feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end like someone is watching her.
And voices whisper to her on the wind. In this corner....The Shadow Slayer!
My Review: The cover of your book is beautiful and something that will attract many of your readers. Your description is very good and your paragraphs seem to be going pretty smooth. Though you do have a few areas of trouble with your punctuation that I'd suggest you take a look at (comma's are your friend). But I do say your characters kind of... there, I understand what you're going for with them, but I just need a little more (more inner thoughts and emotion).
The grammar is pretty much okay and your sentence structure seems to be going good as well. The spacing is good and the dialogue seems very real between the characters in your story, though sometimes it feels a bit much, especially for a first chapter. The tense is consistent, but you do need more description so I can see and hear whats going on around them. There's so much that can be done with your plot if you just execute it properly.
Rating: 7
Overall: Needs work for sure, but definite potential
(Before I go I would like for you all to give the Wattpad Block Party a look, this event is definitely something great for aspiring authors)
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