Plot and Idea: Surprising
Genre: Paranormal
Summary:
One girl that goes by the name Natalie changes her life by stepping into those double doors of a celebrity hotel called Pearl-High Legend. She seeks a loved one that she's been wanting all her life and what if he was not so perfect. Her heart is broken by him soon enough and she has no one else to look up to anymore. She goes through a lot before she finally could make it to steady ground. On the other side of the globe, Natalie's best friend, Elizabeth struggles to keep her love and her studies going on at the same time. She's got chores, thesis and work to do every day of her life. Going through pain all at once, Rhea, Natalie's other best friend, has allergies for love. She concentrates on writing her books and keeping her career up to her goal. After some obvious comments on her not being 'fun' enough, she shows the 'fun' side of her by doing super-secret jobs. So now, Natalie, Elizabeth and Rhea got to sort out their lives and hunt down a very dangerous boy named Kristen. He may be attractive, but on the inside his got all of devil working its way. Soon Rhea gets kidnapped and only to know that it was the boy who turned her into an immortal being to be in charge of her kidnapping. Does she escape in time to warn her friends or do they get doomed to death?
You'll just have to find out.....
Cover by: @collections-b
My Review: Wow that summaries a bit too long for anyone to read O_O.
The cover for your book is a bit simple, but not terrible, though it could be better. The paragraphing and spacing for your book seems to be perfectly fine and not hard to follow. The sentence structure you have is okay, but at times your punctuation for it is off, though that is an easy fix. Your grammar, though sometimes not in the correct tense is fine and your capitalization is fine.
The character is interesting, and though in a serious situation is still pretty funny. The development is not 100% there, but as the story continues it should be seen how they have changed from the beginning. The pace used for the story, as well as the tense, is good as well. The description could use some work and the dialogue could as well. Overall, needs some work, but everything is doable and this story does have a foreseeable future.
Rating: 8.7
Overall: Has a future, but there are things you really must work on pulling back and pushing the envelope.
