The Real World

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Dedicated to @JessandRich

Plot and idea: n/a

Summary: n/a (Torn apart sequel)

My review: Check capitalization the beginning of the story doesn't make much sense, try not over using say you tend to do that.  It's quite hard to follow, but the paragrahing gets better as you move further along (check it at the beginning). The grammer needs help in some places, and the spacing is good, but you have some problems here and there. 

Rating: 5.5

Overall: I think it needs editing 

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