Plot & Idea: Pretty cool
Genre: Vampire
Summary:
Nicole Brightman wants to be left alone.
Her teacher, Mrs.Grisle, wants people to notice her.
Katelina Søren needs to kill people to live.
Nicole isn't a metaphor for teen angst. Mrs.Grisle isn't a twisted comic relief. Katelina does not sparkle.
This is a story about loneliness, and how, one way or another, it kills.
My Review: This is actually a very good story. It is well written and draws in people from what I see. You are good at description, but get a little more and your dialogue is really good. I would love more setting development in you first chapter though. I would recommend this story to many; your spacing can be iffy, but your paragraphing is good. I would love some character development and you should take a look at the punctuation. Though your story is just starting out there aren't major issues, besides punctuation, character development and setting development. I think the pace of your story is good, but length your chapters a bit since they seem quite short so far. Though I must say you have a nice cover.
Rating: 8
Overall: This story is good for interest, but there are issues here and there.
