Shawn Mendes Imagines Part 2 {COMPLETED}

70. "Am I A Burden?"

I have anxiety and depression, and lately I've been struggling with the both of them. My poor boyfriend, singer and songwriter Shawn Mendes, has been helping me through this. Today I was laying in bed with him. He traced circles on my back as I listened to the steady beat of his heart.

"Do you want to come to the studio with me tomorrow?" Shawn asked. I perked up a little.

"Really? You want me to come?" I asked. Shawn chuckled and brushed a stray hair out of my face.

"Of course I do. You're my inspiration, my muse, my everything." Shawn said, causing me to blush. I kissed his chest.

"I would love to come, and I love that I'm your everything." I said. Shawn hummed and kissed the top of my head.

"Come on, let's go watch a movie." Shawn said as he got up. I nodded and stood up with him. We put on To All The Boys I've Loved Before and were watching it for the millionth time when a spell of sadness hit me.

"I'm going to go take a nap. I'm tired." I said.

"Are you actually tired or are you just depressed?" Shawn asked. I kissed his nose gently.

"Both." I said before walking upstairs. Shawn followed me and laid in bed with me, comforting me as I cried for no reason. The next day Shawn and I went to the studio.

"Alright baby," Shawn said as he turned to me. "I'm going to be in the booth, you sit your gorgeous self on the couch, okay?" Shawn asked. I nodded.

"Okay." I said. He placed a gentle kiss on my lips.

"I love you." Shawn said, causing me to smile and my heart to flutter.

"I love you too handsome." I said, causing Shawn to blush. I giggled and smacked his van Gogh piece of artwork butt lightly. (A/n: that was for you @yadeelbooks123)

"Hey! That was my butt!" Shawn whined as he went into the booth. I laughed. Andrew, Shawn's manager, shook his head. I instantly frowned.

"Is everything okay Andrew?" I asked.

"Yup." He said, popping the p. I nodded as my anxiety started to stir within me. Something wasn't right. Andrew has never liked me, he thinks that I'm a distraction. Shawn says I'm not though, and I trust Shawn.

"Um, okay." I said. Andrew turned away and sipped his coffee. After each song, or when he got frustrated, Shawn would come over to where I was on the couch, give me a quick kiss, and ask me how I thought he was doing. He was doing great, so I told him that. Each time that I said that, Shawn would smile. While Shawn was in the booth, Andrew walked over to me, and sat down next to me.

"Hey there." He said.

"Hi." I said.

"So I was thinking, and, listen, you're a great girl. But you're just not right for Shawn." He said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean that he's way out of your league. And yesterday he told me how tired he was from dealing with you and your anxiety and depression." Andrew said.

"What?" I asked. Andrew nodded. "He would never say that. He seemed fine yesterday."

"Well he told me that he was tired. He almost cancelled his studio session because he was so tired." Andrew said.

"Then why did he ask me to come?" I asked.

"I don't know." Andrew said while shrugging his shoulders.

"I need to leave." I said as I got up and rushed out the door. Shawn and I went to the studio in separate cars just in case I got too anxious and needed to leave. Looks like we predicted it. I got in the car and practically sped home. I needed to be alone for a little bit.

Shawn's point of view

I walked out of the booth to see that my girlfriend Y/n was no longer on the couch.

"Where's Y/n?" I asked.

"Oh she left." Andrew said.

"Why?" I asked.

"She said she was anxious but didn't want to worry you, so she didn't want to tell you." He said.

"Okay, let me just give her a call to make sure she's okay." I said, pulling out my phone.

"No, I need you to get back in the booth. Plus, she told me that she just wanted to be left alone right now." Andrew said.

"Why would she tell you that?" I asked. Andrew shrugged.

"I don't know." He said. I looked at him for a moment before heading back into the booth. I continued to worry about my girlfriend but stayed at the recording studio until it was two in the morning. I then went home.

"Baby?" I called out as I kicked the door shut with my foot. No response. I climbed the stairs and saw that she was in bed, over the blankets. She must have flung herself onto the bed when she got home and had been like that ever since. I gently shook her to wake her up.

"Huh?" She asked as she woke up.

"You're on top of the blankets my love. Let me tuck you in." I said. She got up and ran into the bathroom and shut the door. "What's wrong honey? Are you still anxious?" I asked.

"Go away." She said.

"What did I do wrong?" I asked, feeling confused.

"Just please go away. I can take care of myself." She said.

"Baby please let me in, I'm worried about you." I said. That's when I heard her break down into tears. I jiggled the handle. "Let me in baby." I said. She finally opened the door but when I rushed in to hug her, she backed up.

"No I don't want to be comforted by you." She said. Ouch. That hurt.

"Why? Please tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it." I said.

"You told Andrew that you were so tired of me and dealing with my anxiety and depression that you almost cancelled your studio session. Am I burden? Do we need to break up?" She asked. I took her hands in mine.

"No no no no no. We can't break up, I can't lose you. What Andrew said was a lie. I never even called him yesterday, and I would never say that. You are not a burden, baby. Please don't listen to Andrew says. Is that why you left?" I asked. She nodded as she continued to cry.

"Yeah. That's what he told me. That you called him and said that you were so tired from dealing with me and my depression and anxiety that you almost cancelled your studio session." She said.

"No darling, that never happened." I said. She sighed as she calmed down and hugged me.

"I didn't need that right now. I have enough going on as is." She said. I rubbed her back.

"I know my love. Come on, let's go to bed and we'll cuddle tomorrow." I said.

"But you have the studio tomorrow." She pointed out as we walked over to the bed, holding hands.

"I'll cancel it. You're more important and I don't want to be around Andrew right now." I said. She nodded as we got under the covers. There was a pause before either of us spoke again.

"Shawn?" She asked.

"Yes my love?" I asked.

"Would you ever pick music over me?" She asked. I pulled her up so she was even closer to my chest.

"Oh honey, never. You're way more important to me than music is. I love you darling." I said. She smiled.

"I love you too." She said.

"Come on, let's rest." I said. She nodded and I kissed her forehead. We fell asleep holding each other, and cuddled all day the next day. This girl has never been a burden, and if I ever lost her, I don't know what I would do. I love her to no end.