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"We have to talk."
"About what?"
"I looked into that new friend of yours."
"Oh god. Seriously, Happy?" Lennon groaned, "Is this really how you want to start the new year?"
"Protecting my god daughter? Yes. Yes it is. Now you have to look at what I found-"
"I don't have to do anything," she gave him a look, "What you have to do is find a hobby-"
"I'm honestly surprised you haven't been the one looking into him," he scoffed, "if Nat taught you anything, it was that you shouldn't trust anyone. Especially someone with, coincidentally, the same last name as my dead ex-girlfriend."
"We already spoke about this. Parker is a very common name."
"Peter Parker doesn't exist," Happy called after her before she could walk away, making her freeze in her tracks, "That's what I found- nothing."
"What do you mean you found nothing?"
"I mean up until a couple weeks ago, Peter Parker didn't exist. Hell, he still technically doesn't now. No social media- what kid doesn't use social media? That was the first red flag."
"You seriously searched Peter up on Instagram?"
"That's what you're focusing on, really?"
"Whatever! So he's a private person-"
"You're seriously not getting the gravity of this situation, Lennon. I'm talking no report cards, social security number, job, debit card- you name it that kid was basically non-existent. Until he bumped into you."
"Maybe you just didn't look hard enough."
"Lennon, I do this for a living. I didn't miss a thing. There was not a shred of evidence that this kid is even real. Which is why I think that maybe this all has to do with you."
"Me?"
"You can't seriously think it's a coincidence that you bumped into him more than one time. Then there's the fact that he knows things about you that he shouldn't know. Ned told me that he knew your sandwich order-"
"That's just cause it's his own order."
"You can't seriously believe that. Cmon, you're the smartest kid I know. You shouldn't be falling for this crap he's trying to pull on you."
"Really? You think insulting my intelligence is going to get you anywhere?"
"I'm just trying to be the sane one since your mind is all fuzzy from this infatuation with him. Think about it, whenever you hang out, where do you meet?"
"Here..."
"Have you ever been to his house? Met that family of his that was suspiciously away during the holidays?"
