see you later // Pablo Gavi

Chapter 21

𝑺𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒔𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆.

𝐌𝐘 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐕𝐈. His swooping brown hair. His slightly annoyed looking eyebrows. His beautiful, very, very dark brown lashes. His smooth, clean shaven face. His Adam's apple, sticking out from his neck, reminding me of his soothing, lovely voice, as his head is leaned far back against the seat of his chair in the bus. He rolls his eyes at something someone says, and I remember where I am, and what I am doing.

Here I am, admiring his looks. Everything about him. All the little things about him, that no one else would look at or realise. Here I am, doing that. As we sit in a bus, going off to Madrid, the voices of all the other Barcelona players flooding back to my ears.

I think it is Lewy, maybe, it is, that says, quieter, and I don't think it is directed at Gavi, "They really do look sweet together, though."

Ter Stegen responds, "Yes, but they don't want to hear it. It upsets them. The others don't want to leave poor Gavi alone."

Pedri's voice says, "Gavi is just completely ignoring you guys by now." He is laughing. Of course he is. Is there any a time Pedri isn't laughing?

"Yes, I am!" Gavi's voice says right in my ear. He doesn't even realise I'm awake yet.

A few guys break out laughing, and I think it is Dembele that says, "Obviously you were listening, Gavi!"

I sigh, leaning away from Gavi, finally. They all stare at me as I look around at all the guys around us. "We aren't dating," I say simply sternly. "I was just tired. So I feel asleep. If I were sitting next to Pedri, I would have done the same exact thing." I am not sure if that is true or not, but I don't think it is. Either way, it works to say. "We are close friends," I continue. "Just like me and Pedri are."

For some reason, it hurts to say that. The more I think about it, the more it is wrong. But I say it all, sounding so sure of myself in my head. I wish it didn't hurt to say that. I wish it didn't matter. I wish there was no difference between how I feel about Pedri and Gavi. I wish I saw them both as just close friends, really, truly. I wish I did. I wish I didn't have such an interest for Gavi. It hurts, because I try to push it out. I don't want it there. And it aches, because I know all my focus on him is done in vain. We will never be together anyway. So either way, it is a lose for me. To see how annoyed, uncomfortable, he gets, at even the thought of being with me. At even the teasing from his friends about it.

This is why I never wanted to like anybody! This is why! They call it a 'crush' for a reason! Heartbreak isn't a word for no reason! I tried so hard. So hard. I tried so hard not to fall for Pablo Gavi. I really did! But, somehow, I just couldn't. I couldn't fend off my feelings for Gavi, and even now, I have to admit it. There is no way not to. I have to admit to myself that I really do love Gavi.

Or at least like.

Love is kind of a strong word.

His teammates are still teasing us. I look at Gavi. He looks at me, with his beautiful eyes. They look so warm in this lighting, but dark, at the same time. Like a Valentine's Day chocolate. Suddenly, to my surprise, a little smile comes up on his face. A bigger smile than he usually shows, actually. And maybe he is laughing a little bit as he says, those warm eyes so bright, "They're annoying, aren't they?"

I grin back at him, and I kid you not, if this was a completely different situation, I would kiss his cheek right now. We have done it before. We took it as platonic. A brother and a sister. That kind of kiss. He understands. He has a sister of his own. He talks about her once in a while. He always has good things to say. Finally I say, after about a second too long, "Yeah, they are. Good thing I could care less about their teasing. I was freaking tired, give me a break, right?"

"Right," he says, that smile widening. I think he might just be the angel of Spanish footballing. "You shouldn't have to change your behavior to avoid their annoying comments, should you?"

"Of course not. Not at all. And that is also the same reason that you should quite being so annoyed about it. Either way, they are going to do it, right? Whatever we do. Whether I kiss you right now or you punch me. They will still have something snotty to say. Might as will just ignore it, no? Let it roll off your back. Why let it get to you. Actually, I've been taking it to seem relatively funny the way they can't let go of such a silly idea like that one."

He seems to consider my words, before finally deciding, "You know, you're right. How did you get so smart?"

"I have always been smart. And you have always taken things a little too serious."

"Oh brother," he says, rolling his eyes, but this time he has that little smirk drawing the side of his mouth up. Just enough.

I grin, looking back at the players, "Hey, Pedri. Lewy. Ter Stegen. Dembele. Kounde. Ansu. Ferran. Sergio. Look at this. Do I love Gavi, huh? Do I? Well, tell me I do all you want. I don't care, and neither does Gavi. Say what you want, but it won't change the truth that we literally are just close friends." I then put both my hands on top of each other, on Gavi's shoulder, and push on his shoulder, leaning up. I give him a kiss on the cheek, right in front of them all.

I do it to prove a point. I really do. But I also do it because in order to heal the fact that I have just said too many times that we are just friends. To make up for my feelings.

As I kiss him, I think his cheek heats up. And when I lean away, his cheek still has some red color in it.

But we both grin at each other, sharing a look, as all his teammates laugh around us, because we could both care less.