see you later // Pablo Gavi

Chapter 38

~ Author's Note ~

Ember really do be like 'Been in these places where I feel nobody got me. But my man, Pedri? My man Pedri, he always got me.'

Freaking Pedri 👌👌👌

By the way, more censored swearing.

𝑯𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅. 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅𝒔 𝒂𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕, 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒘𝒐.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐔𝐏 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐄𝐃, 𝐈 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐁 𝐌𝐘 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄, 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄. We left the club at about 10:30 P.M. Now it is about 2:30 A.M. I feel completely sober now, thankfully. I might just never, ever let myself get drunk again.

The first thing I do is spam Gavi's number through text, waiting a few minutes between each text, just crying, longing for him to get back to me.

𝖬𝖾:
𝗀𝖺𝗏𝗂 𝗂𝗆 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝗐𝖾 𝗉𝗅𝗌 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄

I know he isn't asleep. I just know he's not.

𝖬𝖾:
𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾 𝗀𝖺𝗏𝗂 𝗂𝗆 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝗂𝗆 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝗂𝗆 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝗂 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖽𝗋𝗎𝗇𝗄 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗆𝗒 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂 𝖽𝗂𝖽𝗇'𝗍 𝗆𝖾𝖺𝗇 𝗍𝗈 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝗉𝗅𝗌 𝗀𝖺𝗏𝗂 𝗂𝗆 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒

The funny thing is, we weren't officially together or dating or anything. I have no reason to be saying sorry. But actually, I do. I don't really get it myself.

𝖬𝖾:
𝗀𝖺𝗏𝗂 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 

𝖬𝖾:
𝗂𝗆 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝗉𝗅𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗀𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗆𝖾 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝗐𝖾 𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄 𝗂 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖾𝗑𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝗂𝗍 𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾 𝗀𝖺𝗏𝗂 𝗂 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗌𝗍𝗎𝗉𝗂𝖽 𝗂𝗆 𝖼𝗋𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗌𝗐𝖾𝗋 𝗆𝖾, 𝗂 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗒𝗈𝗎'𝗋𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗌𝖾

𝖬𝖾:
𝗂'𝗆 𝖻𝖾𝗀𝗀𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝖺𝗏𝗂 𝗂'𝗆 𝗌𝗈 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗂𝖾𝖽.

𝖬𝖾:
𝖯𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾.

I try calling him three times, and three times they are ignored.

And then, finally, he picks up. And what he says shatters me, and puts everything in the exact perspective it is in. He says, sounding angry to hide sorrow, "What the hell do you want, Ember? I don't want to talk to you right now. Not at all. But you know why I picked up? Because not so long ago, I texted you over and over and over, and called you, and tried to talk to you and find you, but guess what? You didn't let me! You didn't care! You left me hanging, Ember. And I picked up because I didn't want to do to you what you f***ing did to me. And what you did to me is far worse than whatever I did to you."

I cry. I just do. Not silent, either. I'm not trying to let him hear it, though. Half way through his talking, I heard his voice crack. It sounded hoarse.

Guilt.

Regret.

"So what the hell do you want from me, Ember?"

I take a shaky breath. "Tell me where you are."

"Ember, I can't see you right now. I just can't. I'm sorry, but I can't f***ing see your beautiful face."

I swallow, the tears still streaming. "Gavi, but I need to see you. Please tell me where you are. I'll come to you. I need to talk to you. I need to see your face. I need to, Gavi," I'm sobbing, now, and there is no hiding this.

There is silence on the other end, before Gavi just says, "'Kay," and hangs up. At first, I'm confused, surprised, and disappointed. Until he sends his location to me. And I cry even harder, for some reason.

The location he sends me is out in the middle of nowhere. It will be hard to explain this to a taxi driver. But oh well. I head out as fast as I can, not caring about my smeared mascara, messed up lipstick, messy hair, and wrinkled dress. I don't have time for that. I have to see him, no matter how I look. I mean, I'm not expecting him to look like a complete model or anything, too.

Never mind. It is impossible for him not to look like a model, no matter how bad he looks. Either way, I'm sure he won't look at his best.

I get a taxi, and give the driver the location. He glances at me, looking concerned at my appearance, but I look away.

Then I get a call from Pedri. I pick up. "Did I wake you up?" he asks. He sounds tired and exhausted.

"No. I was already awake."

"Gavi is mad at me."

"Why you?"

"Well, he's not as mad at me as he is at you. But he's mad at me because I said you liked him, and then you did that. He yelled at me over the phone for a full half hour straight about it, from about 12:45 to 1:15."

"I'm going over to see him now. I'll make sure he doesn't stay mad at you."

He clears his throat. "You sure about going over to see him?"

"Positive," I sniff, wiping my wet cheeks. "Anyway, you should go to sleep. Good night, Pedri."

"Good luck to you, Ember. Night."

Then the cabbie pulls over in the middle of nowhere, and pulls away. I get afraid and insecure pretty quickly about the chilly temperature and lack of anyone around. I start walking down the side of the road, not really having any idea of where I'm going.

And then I see him, against the moonlight. The full moon. Looking beautiful. His expensive car, with its flat hood. His beautiful shadow silhouette sitting on the hood. Knees up, elbows resting on knees, staring out into the plain field in the country, completely still. 

I slowly walk towards him, but I freeze when he finally notices me here, and looks up at me.

And what I see shatters me to pieces. 

His eyes look dull. Nothing like the warmness I'm so used to seeing in them. There is something in him that isn't here. It's gone. Will I get that back, whatever it is? He looks blank. I don't even know if he is really there or not. No reaction plays on his face when he sees me. But that isn't even the worst of all. In the light of the moon and stars mostly, but also the dim headlights shining on his car, I see that his nose is a little pink. And his eyes. Oh, God, his eyes. Puffy, red and pink.

He has been crying.

I made Pablo Martin Paez Gavira, the boy I love so much, the boy I want to please so much, the boy who I need, the boy who I want with all my heart, cry.

I can tell he hasn't been crying for hours now, but I can still see the signs on his face enough. I can also tell that he has been here for hours. Probably he came here and sat down on the hood as soon as he saw me kissing that random guy. And he's been here for hours.

Thinking.

Unable to find any peace with it.

Angry.

He says simply to me, little to no emotion in his voice, "This is why I didn't want to f***ing see you, Ember. This is why."