Ember Escarro is a girl with some serious luck. Just how long can she hold on to that luck, though?
#1 in the tag fcbarcelona on 3/3/23
#1 in the tag barcelona on 4/17/23
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𝑰𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒔𝒉 𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆?
𝐈𝐅 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐒𝐊 𝐌𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐌𝐘 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄, 𝐈 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄, "𝐈'𝐌 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆." Because there isn't much that I'm scared of. And everything that I'm scared of requires someone to really know me in order to find out.
And it would be finding out, because why would I volunteer what I'm scared of straight to someone's face, no matter how close I am to them, or how much I love them? That's just not how I roll.
I'm also not really scared of things that people are usually scared of. I'm not scared of death, heights, creepy-crawlies, snakes, flying, dogs, thunder storms, injections, or social situations.
I'm scared of failure. Imperfection. Rejection. Being vulnerable, although Gavi is helping me get through this one. Sometimes I get scared of time, because it's something I can't understand. I'm scared of things I can't understand, too. Most of my fears go deeper than other common ones. I'm generally not scared of the physical world.
Except for one thing, and no one would know it just by having a conversation with me, because in my opinion, it's extremely pathetic.
Blood. And nightmares. Mostly just blood.
I hate blood.
The moment Ferran's nose started bleeding, that's when my legs took action and I ran out. Looking at him made my shudder to remember the blood coming from his marked up nose.
I hate blood.
Most of the time, fears are random. I've always hated blood, but the thing that really made me scared of blood was a night in Montpelier when I was fourteen-years-old. My mum was washing an upstairs window, and I was supposed to hold the ladder for her. That's all I had to do. It was my only job. But when I saw a stray cat running into the street while I car was coming down the road, without thinking, I let go of the ladder to run to save it.
I let go of the ladder a little too quickly, because it came down. The ladder hit the ground first, and then my mother hit one of the sharp ends of the ladder.
Her middle burst open with blood.
On that day, as I called the police, I was having an anxiety attack, for multiple reasons.
One of those reasons being the blood.
I am terrified of blood.
The smallest scabs need to be covered with Band-Aids.
Deep down, it was really hard for me to deal with Leo's cut. He didn't feel me shaking, because I smiled at him and hugged him and showed him that's it is okay, because that was my job as a very temporary caretaker for him.
I stand in the pool area, and everything is very white. Too white, so that it hurts. It's only me, Ferran, Gavi, and Pedri standing there; no one else is around. I watch as Gavi knocks Ferran's nose up, and Ferran clamps his eyes and mouth shout. I watch as the blood flows from his nose, and I try to run again for the door, but my legs don't move, and when I look to where the door was, it is gone. I look back to see Ferran open his eyes, and blood gushes from them, and I feel myself start to freak out, and I scream, crying, trying to move, but I can't. I'm frozen. "Ember," Gavi says, but he's not looking at me, and his voice doesn't sound quite right. "Are you okay?" he asks, finally looking to me. As he speaks, blood runs from his lips and his eyes, and I call for help, falling on the ground, in tears. "I can help you!" Pedri says, but he doesn't sound like Pedri, and I look up to see his hand reaching out to help me up, but there is blood seeping through the creases in his hands. "Don't touch me!" I scream, and finally I can move, so I get up and run to the door which is now there and run. The ground is hard and I panic as my feet start to bleed, and blood seeps through my pores and I cry out for someone to help me- anyone. Then Gavi's real, sincere, loving voice says, "Hey, love, what's wrong?" in my ear, and arms wrap around my middle from behind, and I lean back into him. Suddenly, though, I feel some wet, warm, thick liquid on my neck, and I look down to see claw-like hands wrapped around my middle, digging into my flesh, drawing blood. I scream, and pull myself away, and turn around to see Gavi looking at me with sharp, bloody, red teeth, the blood coming from his mouth. His claw-hands are covered in it. There is blood sliding down from his nose, into his mouth. It's coming from his eyes like a river. And his nose. There are bloody scratches all over him, and in some spots it is coming out through his pores. "Calm down," he smiles, showing off his bloody fangs, and it's in his voice, but it's not him, and I scream, and fall over. He's about to pounce on me, and he grabs my shoulders and- and- and-
Gavi, the real, lovely, Gavi, is over me, and I'm crying, screaming, sobbing, terrified. It's the middle of the night, and everything is so quite, it is too good to be true. His hands are on my shoulders, and in a frantic moment, I'm still in the dream, and I push him away from me, yelling through tears, "No! Go away! Don't hurt me!" I sit up, moving away from him, but then stop, staring at him, tears still streaming down my face, but my mind back into the reality of the night after Pedri's birthday, and we're in the tent together, and it's okay.
He wraps his arms around me, and I bury my head into his shoulder, shaking.
