Chapter 46

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𝑰 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆, 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏.


𝐈 𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄, 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐖𝐄 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐎𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑. We sit there silently for a little bit, before I say gently to Gavi, more out of slight unhealthy curiosity than concern, "What happens to you when you get stressed out like that, when you're alone in this place?"

He glances at me, and thinks for a few seconds, before finally saying, "I'm not quite sure if I understand your question or not."

"Oh, uh, well... You know, different people have different reactions. Like, for example, during my move from Bilbao to Montpellier, I was super stressed out about leaving behind everything knew, including my country. I was constantly restless, wound-up, and on-edge, getting mad at the littlest things and having a breakdown over things equally as small. Does anything... you know, bad, like that, happen to you? When that happens?"

He shrugs, looking slightly uncomfortable. "I don't know... Why do you want to know?"

"Why, I care, Gavi." This isn't a lie, so I'm not going against the preaching of honesty I gave to him only minutes ago. I'm just not telling the full truth. Sometimes I like to know other's weaknesses, even if it's someone I love with my whole heart. I may or may not be a bit morbid at times.

"Okay, well..." he says, clearing his throat, obviously taking that honesty thing very seriously. I love that he doesn't want to let me down, so much. "When it happens, I usually lay in bed, and my limbs get weak or cramped up sometimes... So I lay in bed... My thoughts feel scattered, and it's hard for me to remember things or figure out new things. And the strangest things irritate me, like that the sofa pillow isn't straight, or that my shirt hanging on the hook on my bedroom door is inside out, or that the thermostat is set to a odd number instead of an even number... It's only when I get stressed out that I get bothered, though. Usually I'm not careful at all about little details at all. In fact, I'm usually kind of careless. But when I get stressed out... It all starts to matter, way too much to me. When that happens to me- and it's pretty random, by the way- I either just lay in bed and let everything before my eyes bother me, or walk around the house, and honestly, probably pretty feverishly, fix every single inside out, crooked, or dirty thing. I know it sounds... kind of freaky and weird of me, so... You can... I hope you don't think I'm weird. You don't right? Is that weird? Does that happen to everyone? I don't think it is, because whenever I've tried asking Pedri, his response is, every single time, 'Don't worry about it, Gavi.' So I can't get it out of him. But it's weird, right? That isn't normal, right? What do you think it is?"

He looks so sincere, and if I were a different person, I would regret having ever asking him. But I don't regret it, because I have to know. I have to help him, just like he has to help me.

Isn't this how romantic relationships are?

The only thing is, though, I have no idea what to say. I completely understand why Pedri would always avoid an answer when Gavi asks him about it. It's because it really isn't normal, but obviously, Gavi doesn't want to be told that, right?

Right?

But I have to be honest. He was honest enough with me to even say that, so I have to give him an honest response. "Gavi, I honestly don't think that is a normal thing. But I also don't think it is a huge problem. We all have our own hard reactions to different things, and it's okay. You don't have to think you're weird for it or anything, even if it's a little unusual. I mean, like, as long as you get through it, which you do, considering how successful you are, then I think it's good. I'm sure it's hard, but I don't think it's anything to worry about."

He studies me, eyes furrowed, and I don't like it, because his thoughts are not clear to me based on his face alone. "You still love me, despite that?"

I grin, and even laugh. "Oh my gosh, Gavi, obviously. Something so little as that could never destroy the extremely strong love I have for you! Goodness sake, Gavi, don't you dare worry about that! I'd never give up a guy as good as you for a reason like that. Out of all the problems you could have, that's like, the best possible option."

He nods, seeming to accept this as a good answer, with a relieved smile. He's so hot.

Suddenly, I remember that night, where I missed him at the bar in Madrid, and cried into Pedri. I try to figure out why I'm thinking of that... There's something I'm trying to remember... Just a little detail...

Oh!

That night, in his text saying sorry, he said he went back to the hotel room because of a cramp in his leg. Just now, he told me that when this feeling of being stressed out leads to cramped limbs sometimes. I suddenly mention this.

"Oh... Yeah, I guess so. Sometimes after situations like that, I get tired and cramped, too, now that I think about it. I don't know if I get the other thing of things having to be perfect, though. Actually... I might. Yeah, actually, because in that night in the hotel, I specifically remember standing up from my bed to close all the drawers and cabinets, because it was bothering me how they weren't all the same, and then straightening the dish on top of the microwave that holds sugar and creamer for tea and stuff."

I think for a few seconds about this, before saying, "I think I know what it is, then, Pablo."


~ Author's Note ~

Sorry if these chapters are boring... I just feel like I need to do this.

In order to let the plot progress in the way I want it to, we must dissect the Pablito.

see you later // Pablo GaviWhere stories live. Discover now