Life ft Pain [completed]

Chapter 30 || Perspectives

Nallai Allai 🎼

"What is it that you want to talk about", Ruthira sipped on her tea. "I- I didn't know what you were going through with Aathira. I'm sorry for not being the support you needed before and after Aathira's passing".

Ruthira looked at him and nodded. "Why didn't you tell me, Ruthira? Why didn't you tell me about what was happening at work"?

"I didn't think you'll care". "OF COURSE I WILL-", he paused, seeing people turn towards their direction. "Of course I will care. I always did". "I heard you telling Ma that you were going to divorce me".

"That- that was bullshit. I told that when I thought Nidra would have a toxic environment because of us. But I myself was creating such an environment for her.

I'm really sorry. I was a fool! I didn't learn my lesson the first time and did it again. I need you, Ruthira. Please don't leave me", he held her hands. "But you left me all alone", Ruthira choked on her sobs.

"I know. I shouldn't have done that. It's all my fault. I- I diverted my pain towards you in a form of anger. I kept telling myself that if only you were careful nothing would have happened.

But it wasn't your fault. You were going through your own problems as well. I'm sorry. And that day- that day when I came over with Nidra I was going to shift back but so much happened".

Ruthira frowned, "you were going to stay? I thought you left". "No, I- I had went to get some flowers and chocolates for you. I was going to apologise for everything".

"Oh", she mumbled. "Why- did you do that because you thought I  left"! "No, erm I had already planned it anyways but I thought maybe we had a chance together. But you were not there, so I did it since no one will care".

"I care", he held her hand that rested on the table. Ruthira slowly pulled her hand away making Rudra's heart break, "you don't have to lie. No one needs to care for me anyways. I'm better off alone".

Rudra sighed, "can I ask you about something else"? "Hmm"? "Yeshna's babyshower. Why did you keep it to yourself until now"? "I didn't felt the need to talk about something that happened in the past".

"I'm sorry for everything you went through". "Stop apologising, Rudra. It makes me feel weird", Ruthira chuckled. "You deserve much more sorries". "That's for me to decide". "Fair enough".

"Is that all"? Rudra gulped his saliva feeling nervous infront of his wife's gaze. "Wi- will you move back with us? Let's start afresh. With you, Nidra and me. Please".

Ruthira looked away, biting her lips not knowing how to break the news. "Are you going to file a divorce", he asked when there was no response from her.

"No, of course not. I- I want us to work, Rudra. But I'm angry. Very angry. All these while I always feel that everything is my fault. Niveda's death, Aathira's death. It hurt me as much as it hurt everyone else but no one cared.